Thank you all, my beautiful forum family, for your well wishes and your posts to me over the past couple of weeks. Gosh ... where would I ever be without you lot? I think a number of you can relate to that feeling, so I know I'm not alone in feeling that way. I am very very grateful for all of you.
Tagging those who have posted or supported me here (or other threads) recently, but I know there are more of you. My apologies if I missed you.
@Former-Member @NatureLover @BlueBay @Owlunar @Anastasia @WIP @Eve7 @Shaz51 @outlander @Lee82 @Appleblossom @greenpea @Schitzo @Clawde @Snowie @Meowmy @Peri @Sans911 @Exoplanet @Former-Member @MDT @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Maggie @eth
I have been offline for the past week, after something occuring which upset me greatly. I only logged back on yesterday and caught up with everyones posts and news etc. So my apologies for not being around and for not responding to any posts addressed to me in that time.
It was another busy week with appointments etc for me. And on Friday I got notified of 3 additional appointments for procedures needed prior to my surgery. Its now only 9 days until my surgery is scheduled. This Tuesday I have my appointment at the hospital for pre-op checks with the anaesthetist etc. And now I have to have additional ultrasounds next Friday. I do not know what has prompted that requirement, as I had thought they were all done through breastscreen at the end of September. I'm concerned now, that perhaps they have discovered something additional on the CT scans that were done just over a week ago. Nobody has told me that, but why else would they need additional investigations?
What is now bothering me is the fact that I have discovered a new lump on the other breast. Only found it a few days ago. But when I got the call to notify me of the additional tests, I instantly thought they had found something on the CT scan. And if it isnt that, then what should I do about telling anyone about the new lump I've found? If I tell the surgeon, GP, hospital, etc ... they will likely cancel my scheduled surgery. And if it turns out to be additional cancer ... then I will need a full double mastectomy. I just dont know what to do. HIde it and hope it goes away, or tell them and face delays due to additional tests needed. I just want to throw my hands up in the air and declare that its all just way too hard.
My anxiety has gone through the roof, and I have been feeling really sick with it all. Not been eating adequately, not sleeping, etc. What should I do? Am I worrying about nothing? I know theres something there .. but what? I dont want surgery to be delayed. I dont want a full double mastectomy with no chance of reconstruction or normality ever again. I'm really at a complete loss right now. Worry is dragging me way way down.
Emelia 😔🌸
