Lived Experience Forum

[outlander]

Evening sis @Sans911
Hows your day been? 💜

[Sans911]

@outlander it's been a very long, slow and boring day. It's been extremely hot again so at one point I sat in the shower stall but it wasn't very comfortable.

I had a volunteer event that no one turned up for even though it held inside a Cafe. I was so frustrated and upset that I had made the effort to get there that I wanted to sh when I came home. But I distracted myself and put some other measures in place so that I can't do that. Finding anything positive is next to impossible right now.

My holiday is in jeopardy because I don't have the money to pay for it. My car needs extra repairs that are essentially the cost of the holiday.

I'm helping again at the op shop again tommorow so that is five half days in the last week instead of one or two. I don't know how or where I'll get the energy from.

Anyway enough of my whining. What's your Sunday been like?

[outlander]

We are expecting a heatwave from thursday through to sat with tuesday and Wednesday being hot but not extremely hot. Not looking forward to it at all. @Sans911

Im really proud of you that you didnt sh, thats really good. Im sorry no one came, maybe put aside those sorts of volunteer events till after new years when people arent so frantic?

I wondered if you could apply for a NILS loan? Its up to 3000 with reasonable repayment amounts. You cant use it on a holiday but you can use it on car repairs. Might be worth having a look into and applying for.

Wow youve been at the op shop alot lately! No wonder your quite tired.

My days been average, done some cleaning up shopping and the horses but that's about it. Very meh sort of mood really.

[Sans911]

Meh is my favourite mood @outlander! I have a daily mood tracker app (can also record activities like my volunteer work, appointments etc). I'm glad I didn't sh but it's been such a struggle not to for a few weeks now.

People didn't come today because they couldn't be bothered and actually messaged me with those words. Hence my frustration. This particular workshop was the last one as I've tried to keep it going every month for a year and either no one turns up or too many turn up for me to handle. I've also stopped several other events by withdrawal from another organisation.

Yes, I know about Nils. I can also get an advance loan through CL but it's just the stress of loosing money from my pension for a while until it's paid back. My rent is virtually doubling in the first week of January at the end of my holiday. Thankfully I'm down to my last payment or two for Jasper's surgery so that will be a lot of extra money each month. I've not been able to save though because of that.

I pretty much had to pay for 3 things in one week for my car. Rego, tyres and service. And next week is the extra repair.

Everything seems to happen at once. I can't wait for this part of the year to be over.

[outlander]

Im not sure how long itll will last but im ok with just being meh @Sans911 i wish my medications would actually work though so im not having so many intense mood switches. I struggle to take so many of them and they are expensive cause they arent on pbs.

That makes me really frustrated for you. That is honestly so rude of those people. Im dissapointed in them.

Glad your almost finished paying of the vet bill. Its quite stressful having that sort of thing.
Mm cars hey, can the repair wait till after your holiday? If not hopefully it wont be to expensive so u can still go away for a few days. You deserve that 💜

[Sans911]

I actually have received the 'meticulously meh' badge from the app because I use the mood so much 😕(is this a meh emoticon?). The app is called Daylio if you're interested. I think I've had about 3 good days in the last 6 months (maybe longer) and recently have been sad or irritated. Otherwise it's meh all the time.

Yes, the wait for meds to work is stressful. Could your GP look into giving you a 'voucher' for your meds so the price is reduced or free? I'm not sure exactly what they're called but my pdoc did them for me, and it helped a lot with the cost.

I need wheel bearings replaced on one side of the car. If I get dirt, sand etc (likely where I'm going) it could be much worse and render the car useless. I don't want that risk. Everything else with the service was OK.

@outlander

[outlander]

Oh dear, your winning badges for a meh mood! 😐😬
Ive actually been on these meds for a while i was on a lowish dose (i was told it was the highest it went from previous pdoc) for 8 months but now ive been on the actual highest dose for almost 3 months now. I told him it wasnt having much effect and I asked to go off them or start reducing them as its a waste if they arent helping but the answers no and to come back in january.

Ah yes best to get those all fixed up @Sans911

[Sans911]

Have you been tried on any mood stabiliser meds @outlander or just ads? The last ads I was taking I was on the max dose and a ms was added. It didn't help a huge deal, but enough to feel some relief.

Maybe they want to monitor you as they wean you off them and it's easier to do that in the new year.

[outlander]

The one im on now is a mood stabilizer @Sans911 ive been on others as well as ADs but haven't had any effect or the side effects were overbearing before i could reach the max dose. Theyve tried different ADs mood stabilizers and antipsychotics. Both on their own and taken at same time.

[Sans911]

Yes, I know you've trialled a lot of different medications like me. It's such a nuisance waiting, hoping to see if they can help or not.