Looking after ourselves
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22-12-2019 09:38 PM
22-12-2019 09:38 PM
Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.
On thin ice here atm @Shaz51
Darling so angry and bitter about ???
Coming up to 12 months since her mum went into hospital for the last time.
She went into hospital Christmas eve last year and never came home... her last 3 months were spent in hospital.
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22-12-2019 09:45 PM
22-12-2019 09:45 PM
Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.
No excuse for the screaming and abuse though.
We had planned a sunset boat cruise this afternoon but I'm not interested being on the water when there is risk of tantrums.
Children are not overly compliant atm either which causes more fights between darling and I... they manipulate her to get what they want.
Kind of over it all atm.
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23-12-2019 08:16 AM
23-12-2019 08:16 AM
Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.
Very understandable @Determined
Hoping things will settle down for your and your family very soon , thinking of you
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23-12-2019 09:56 AM
23-12-2019 09:56 AM
Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.
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26-12-2019 11:14 AM
26-12-2019 11:14 AM
Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.
Had 18 people here for Christmas lunch (including our family) yesterday and most thankful that we survived the day without any hiccups. Darling managed well with so many people in her space. We all juat sat around the table on the deck ate food and talked. Children mostly amused themselves with their new treasures.
2 of my siblings even managed the day in the same space without any fireworks. Kind of.ignired each other but that is fine as long as the fire and ice is left at the front gate lol. I suspect Bro's girlfriend had him on a short leash. He was.going to pike to save conflict but she persuaded him to do participate for mum.
Off for a birthday lunch today.
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27-12-2019 09:16 PM
27-12-2019 09:16 PM
Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.
In the midst of a meltdown here atm.
Currently in what is possible only the 'eye of the storm' Kind of lacking strength to endure the abuse at the moment. If it were not for the children it would be easy to give up and remove myself from the situation. Support from a distance.
The children and I take the for better or worse commitment when we got married seriously.
Working hard on my attitude so that I am staying for the right reasons not because I have to.
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27-12-2019 09:27 PM
27-12-2019 09:27 PM
Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.
@Determined, would it be an idea to semi-remove yourself, just briefly? Something like taking yourself and/or the kids for a little walk in the cool of the day before heading back for bed... after checking out damage levels, I guess. 😞
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27-12-2019 09:56 PM
27-12-2019 09:56 PM
Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.
Children are all in bed @Smc and now.they are in bed I have retreated to our room.
Still potential for another flare up because S3 is sulking that she is refusing to do her usual routine with him. I will have to stay awake in case that happens.
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27-12-2019 10:00 PM
27-12-2019 10:00 PM
Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.
Poor FIL learned some new words and new ways to use them tonight.
Had to enact one of our boundaries tonight.
During the rage darling got her keys to leave. I carmly as I could explained that if she left I would be calling the police..
That really tipped her over the edge but at least she stayed at home. Ijt would not have been at all safe to have her out in the car in the frame of mind she was in. For her or anyone around her.
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27-12-2019 10:11 PM
27-12-2019 10:11 PM
Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.
She is now refusing to take her meds so coming weeks could prove tricky.
Kind of over it. My bucket is empty and the bottom is all burned out. But I am far from alone in that boat I know. Just venting as No one to talk to about it.
Probably I should check in on FIL but lack the strength or bother even to make excuses for darling. The alternative is to criticize her and talk her down to her farther. That would only upset him more so
🙈🙉🙊🤐