Great hearing you care about your son enough to seek help. It is very hard live with someone who is mentally ill, my wife and children will all testify along with me.
If your son has no motivation at the moment, than it is not good to try him to do things, for he will feel you are on his back, about something he does not feel like doing. Most depressed people do feel bad they do nothing, but agreeing with such feelings, or have others reinforce them, only makes depression worse, not better.
The truth is, i found for myself may times, that only when the depression eases, do we begin to do things again, not before. However understanding that certain things can help, like doing things you enjoy doing, when you are enjoying it, can help a lot, keeping our minds healthy. (Like i love cooking, watching nature, and sharing with others. So i make sure i keep doing these thing, even when i feel rock bottom, for that will assure my quickest recovery from down there.)
What helped me most a depressed person was receiving the love from my wife, (as well as children and grandchildren,) almost every day again, though she suffered me a depressed person, more than anyone else, she got me through some really rough spots in my life. Receiving love and building love relationships with a mentally ill person is the best way to help a person think also outside themselves, which can be very challenging when the depressed person is down deep.
Still the love of my wife, in particular, stopped me quite a few times from ending my life, for although, at the time, all i wanted to do was heed those voices screaming in my head to end my suffering, i could not bear the thought her finding my lifeless body, for i knew she loved me dearly. And so over the years i killed the voices pushing suicide inside my head, instead of those voices killing me.
So if you can, making loving him your priority. For if you build a loving relationship, that does not threatened him a depressed person, he is much more likely to take you into his confidence and heed your advise. For what you really want to find out, is what kind of lies does he believe about himself, and other people, because of his depression? For such lies are more than likely the main cause his good life/times keep slipping out of reach. It sure was like that in my life. The truth about himself, being lovable, as well as those around him, can really help fight depressive thoughts and feelings. (It sure did for me!)
Please be aware that if he suspects that you want him to be is someone he is not, he will hide his feelings from you. i know i had to do that a mentally ill person many times in my life, for peoples expectations can be a real killer when you cannot perform to their requests/demands/hopes/expectations.
It is only when people genuinely love me, that i dare to open up face to face, about the things that go on within my tormented mind, at times of depression. For real love reaching out is a blanket bringing safety, so often desperately needed in my tormented mind when i'm suffering.
This is why i have learned to love, loving love, for nothing loves me back better.😘
