SANE Forums

[f0x]

the worst type of abuse is when you try to reach out to people for support and they ignore you and make it really conspicuous that they are doing that

conspicuous how?

making noncommittal remarks that look on the surface like support, but are actually calculated to shut down the conversation and make the person feel like no one is listening to them

does anyone else experience this type of abuse?

[tyme]

Hey there @f0x ,

Sorry to hear of these experiences. 

I don't think I've thought much about it so I don't have anything to share in terms of my own experiences.

Is there something you can do at the moment that may be helpful?

[f0x]

@tyme do you have any ideas? I'm all ears for ideas right now

[tyme]

Oooo @f0x ,

Actually, now I think of it, it has happened to me before. I left crying because I was totally shut down.

Yet I continued on in life determined not to let it get to me. When I think back to that time, it still hurts. But I'm not going to give the person the joy of seeing me pulled down.

[f0x]

@tyme

has that happened to you repeatedly every time you reach out for support?

what sick psychopath gets joy out of repeatedly abusing someone who is asking them for support that they genuinely need?

[tyme]

Nope. Because I never asked again.... 

Actually, I never asked in the first place. @f0x 

I was pulled into their office and told to keep my mouth shut pretty much.

I guess I had to learn to move on. I'm not saying it was easy though.

At the same time, I had to keep in mind that I wasn't going to let them 'win'.

I hope you find what works for you. We are all different. This is only a glimpse of my experience.

[f0x]

@tyme 

I've spoken about how what I have been experiencing is a campaign of "no-touch torture" in the form of psychological abuse

a defining feature of that abuse is passive-aggressive hints from people I ought to be able to trust

I've also spoken about how mental health spaces have been used as one of the delivery channels for this abuse

I've attempted to indicate how doing so would be not only highly unethical but also quite cruel, and very likely unlawful

please tell me something @tyme 

how can I be sure that your comments about "keeping your mouth shut" and "learning to move on" are not also such passive-aggressive hints to me?

and how can I be sure that your expected denial is not then gaslighting and therefore also abuse and just as unethical, cruel and likely unlawful?

finally, how can I raise this matter as a question of safety within these forums with a suitably senior person?