Winter solstice

[Patches59]

@Dimity   With all the memories I started to become overwhelmed and struggled to do anything.  Still do at times but not as bad as I was.  Still feel very raw and easily triggered.

in hope of giving my mind something else to think about I started going through everything in each room but paced myself.  Some days I’ve got 3 or 4 things done, other days 1 or none.  Ive also had some number of days where, apart from feeding the cats, I’ve not gotten out of bed.  Part of the reason I’m hoping to start seeing a psychiatrist again.  

cycle will end with me to some degree as I don’t have siblings or children.  I see things with some of my cousins that are not ‘normal’ which leaves me with some concerns but nothing I can do about it.  

[Dimity]

I've sometimes been lost in memories and ruminating @Patches59 but for quite  a while I got lost in doomscrolling news and Facebook. I stopped that in hospital. Today I've been rattling around doing small jobs and resting.  Collecting Tiger was huge as was chatting to my nephew.

I'll need to restart going through my rooms and decluttering.  But first I'll have to look at the papers and bills that came in while I was sick.

I hope you can get a psychiatrist soon. In the meantime dealing with all those triggers is important.  Do you know where they come from? Can you ignore them or desensitise yourself to them? I realise they tend to flood your mind when they're happening so it's not easy. Your psychologist might have suggestions. 

I'll go to bed soon. I'd wanted to reset my body clock and being in hospital seems to have done that for me.