Winter solstice

[Dimity]

I just figured out my 6 week convalescence will take me to the autumn equinox. 

I've committed to occasional private help for that time as well as hoping for regular fortnightly home care. A family member has also offered help with watering at first. 

3 weeks to straighten the house and garden beforehand. I'm frustrated I'm not working harder.

@NatureLover 

[NatureLover]

I hadn't realised your home care was going to be only fortnightly, @Dimity . I had imagined it to be more frequent. 

At least you also have the option of private help. Plus watering help. 

Best wishes for working harder (if possible) in the next 3 weeks. 

[Dimity]

@NatureLover I've had a hiccup. Today the social worker asked how I feel about tackling my folders notes and papers and I mentioned how it often reminded me of what I was living through when I acquired or created them. That was fine 

-  hypothetical perhaps - but after I got home from my haircut a wave of emotion hit me. Came down like a huge weight. I've been remembering how awful it all was. I froze for hours but eventually got dinner. I haven't been able to work on the house at all today. 

[NatureLover]

Oh no, @Dimity ! I can empathise - papers (and objects) raise difficult emotions 😥 It's not just processing what to do with a piece of paper - that one paper may represent a whole relationship history and a whole host of problems and traumas 😥

Freezing for hours in panic shows how distessing this was / is for you 🫂

Well done for finally being able to make dinner. 

I hope you were able to sleep OK last night and that today is a better day for you 🤞

[Dimity]

It's been a difficult week. 

My knotty family problems have resurfaced.

I saw mention of Disappointing Affirmations in another thread and googled them. One is "No one is coming to save you. You are the adult. I'm so sorry." 

And I challenged a dishonest cab driver,  who retaliated by saying he's blacklisting me on the system so I can't book any taxis with that company in future. 

I had home help today for the first time, and felt simultaneously inadequate and an imposter. 

@NatureLover I failed to do anything useful today. Hopefully the weekend will be better. Next week will be busy finalising arrangements and having tests for my procedure. 

Is your weekend looking good?