My Mosaic

[Snowie]

@Bow 💕💕

Hope today is going ok for you

[Bow]

@Snowie @Jynx  I’ve had a hard day. Did my treadmill this morning and my body did not like it at all.
Was about to get ready for arts and craft group and my SW called- trying real hard to take her calls even if it’s just real quick. But she didn’t wanna do a quick call. I was on the phone to her for over 20mins. She asked me so many questions. And wanted to know stuff. Wanted to understand stuff. 
Eventually finished on the phone with her and I was all flustered cause now I didn’t have much time to get ready. 
Arrived at group and everyone was already there. I kinda prefer to be early and not be centre of attention when I arrive 😩 especially on days like today. Lady that now runs this group was there today, but only briefly. All the coloring stuff was out so I guess she hasn’t planned anything again. Sat around and waited for her to speak and she just asked what everyone wanted to do. I ummed and said I started something last week I’ll just do that. Everyone else just did coloring. I kinda felt out of place doing my own thing but I ain’t gonna sit and colour in for 3hrs every week. 
Was really on edge. I found it extremely difficult to sit there. There was a lot going on. From what I could understand another lady had escaped a potential dv relationship this morning prior to group. She was talking bits about that. Then she left to go get more of her stuff and then came back. Another girl left and went and got a hamper from another service and comes back with the bag broken and pasta sauce dripping everywhere. That was a process of cleaning that up. And then there was the smell. She then spilt her coffee. Someone then came back and ate a bite lunch right next to me. Then there was a random guy there fixing the entry sliding door. And other staff just coming and going. The boys playing a game. The coffee was playing music loudly… bad music. And singing to it. Then she would scroll through TikTok loudly. Sigh. Sound like I’m just complaining. But my capacity to deal was very low…. Or my window of tolerance was not in the right place. I don’t know. I was sitting there. Leg tapping. Chewing my bottom lip. Trying to cut things out but my hands did not cooperate and my hands were shaking. I really wanted to up and leave, but would that draw more attention? 
so I sat and did my thing waiting for my head to explode. I swear I could have screamed. 

sorry that was a lot 

[Snowie]

That was a lot happening at the same time @Bow I would have been overwhelmed too.

Well done for sitting there and doing your thing. That would have been hard to do.

Understand not wanting to draw attention to ones self.

Have you decided if you're going to your psych appt. tomorrow?

What's been happening for you this afternoon?

[Bow]

Just been laying on my bed @Snowie  had some kitty snuggles and just fed them. 

my chest is aching this arvo

im not sure about my psych tomorrow. Think it will be something that I decide in the morning. I feel bad that I chose not to go when folks like yourself have such big waits. I don’t usually skip.. just has felt the last couple of weeks that it’s a better choice we don’t go open them boxes at this point in time. Feeling safe feels more important. 

my SW is coming at 9:30 though. Not something that I wanted tomorrow but she’s coming and hopefully if I’m not coming she won’t insist on staying like.

hate the anticipation of a shitty day

[Jynx]

@Bow ugh, sounds like a doozy of an overwhelming day!! 

And yeah, you're more than allowed to have a nice big complain about how your day has gone, especially when it's been like this! If you got more you wanna get off your chest by all means hun, here to listen 💜

Heya @Snowie how you travelling today hun?

[Snowie]

@Bow you need to do what is right for you. If that means not going to your psych than so be it. You are the best judge of that.

Maybe seeing your SW tomorrow will be enough for one day.

I did see a pic of the kittens you have fostered. They look so cute and tiny!! Cuddles would certainly help.

@Jynx hard day

[Jynx]

@Snowie need a vent or jus some company? Anything on for today? 

Hugs comin atcha!! 🫂🫂

[Snowie]

@Jynx not much sleep, took mum in for her day surgery, missed psych session b/c of this, thoughts continue, prn not helping, not good actions, late night ahead. Think thats it.

[Jynx]

@Snowie Aww hun, what a bloody slog you're pushing through atm!! Will you have to wait long till your next session?

[Snowie]

@Jynx over 2 weeks. Not seen since mid December.