Don’t want to accept the pain

[Gremlin24]

@creative_writer I'm just physically unable to work, been that way for over 18 years now. I knitted a caterpillar in year 3, but since then I only really knit squares or random shapes. 

[creative_writer]

@Grimlin24 it sounds like things have been hard for you on a physical level too 😞. 18 years is a long time. Sending you lots of love and hugs 💖

A caterpillar is cute. My sister knits too, though I haven’t tried it myself. It does look relaxing

[Jynx]

@creative_writer haha if I come up with anything good I'll definitely share!! I've been working on my battle jacket and whilst I'd absolutely love to share, it's such a wholly unique garment now that it actually would feel like a breach of anonymity 😅

I hope the psych is kind and gentle with your wonderful soul hun 💜

@Gremlin24 ahahaa that's such a mood. It's why I haven't managed to draw any of the cute lil videos that Oaktree has been sharing, I am all fine at mucking about on my own but tryna do it to look like on a video? NOPE 🤣

[Gremlin24]

@Jynx i know right, do you know how much I have to talk myself into sharing my drawings. That's a whole task in itself really 😂. 

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I’m sure the jacket will turn out amazing. I hope it works out with this psych. Things have been a bit rough lately and I don’t want to increase my meds again. I wonder if suppressed and repressed emotions are contributing.

@Gremlin24 feel free to share your drawings. I’m sure they are better than you say they are

[Gremlin24]

@creative_writer I've shared a few now in the Art club thread 😊

[Jynx]

Entirely possible @creative_writer was just talking to my cousin about this stuff - repressed emotions and trauma memory and such. Like they were saying that EMDR helped them realise the ways their unprocessed trauma memories were showing up in their thoughts and behaviours without them even realising. It's kinda wild hey, human psyche is a tricky lil thing! I hope this is a new leaf for you to turn 🤞

[creative_writer]

@Gremlin24 I’ll look at those once I get the opportunity 😊

@Jynx unprocessed trauma does show up. I find it very hard to calm my nervous system, I feel like I must constantly be on guard. Trauma doesn’t help bipolar or chronic pain either. There is a part of me that is scared to be vulnerable. Like I hate crying in front of people and being raw

[Jynx]

Yeah total mood @creative_writer my body is a constant wiggler ahaha

Maybe this psych will help you feel more safe to express yourself. Here's hoping 🤞

[creative_writer]

@Jynx my mind is constantly on the go, but then ADHD can do that. Though there is evidence coming out ADHD and trauma are linked.

I think I feel sort of embarrassed and stupid when expressing emotions. It’s probably about rewiring the brain to thinking it’s okay to let it out in a safe environment