Re: Newbie's Social Club - Come make some friends!
And now to try and summarize myself without sounding completely fictional. Content warnings for intense medical drama.
Last year I: - discovered I had a 6cm wide meningioma in my head and was lucky to be alive - survived major brain surgery - was left in a drug-induced delirium for a week begging for help as I hallucinated all my worst fears - lost my mind - spent the rest of the year being promised professional psychiatric help to recover only to have it repeatedly fall through - suppressed everything so I could move to Melbourne where could actually afford a livable place to rent and recover
I'd be lying if I said I'm okay. I am seeing a psychiatrist every week to learn emotional regulation and EMDR to process what I went through and be able to move on.
I know I have a bright future ahead of me, now having my brain restored to it's pre-meningioma state when I was at the height of my professional career, plus the last five years of discovering so much about myself, who I really am and how to be truly happy. And now I've made it to an amazing city where I can pursue my career and enjoy a much more vibrant queer community and creative life. For the first time in a decade I can stop endlessly struggling to survive, and actually start to live. If I can just recover from what I went through.
I'm trying to be hopeful, knowing I will recover in time, and trying not to lose ground to depression and stay the course. But it isn't always easy, and some days are worse than others.
Welcome to the forums! Thank you for sharing your story. I can see how much you have been through and how this can affect your mental health. Your resilience shines through even if it doesn't feel like it at times.
I'm sorry to hear about your medical journey. Did you have people to walk this journey with you? To support you? To sit with you when things were tough?
Sorry to hear you have been struggling with your depression which is leading to thoughts of self-harm. Is this a new thing? If so, have you spoken to your GP or a professional about it?
You deserve to feel supported so you aren't sittign with these thoughts on your own.
Re: Newbie's Social Club - Come make some friends!
Hello @pelli69 , I'm sorry that things have been tough for you lately. Please know that you are not alone and we are here to support you. We will walk this journey with you, every step of the way. Sending you lots of strength ❤️.
Re: Newbie's Social Club - Come make some friends!
Hi @tyme I have been struggling for many many many years but did not notice what is was doing to me. I just kept withdrawings from people and everything I used to love. I was basically living alone while living in a house with a wife and 3 kids. Dont see many firends anymore. Did not enjoy doing any activities anymore.
After reaching out I was taken by police to a local hospital to be admitted and stayerd for 3 days - I was only released on the proviso I had someone to look after me. They have put me onto medication. I contacted a mental health service and told them that my wife and kids were leaving and I was going to commit self harm. [edited by moderators]
My wife and kids have moved out of home and I need to get myself better so I can attempt to rebuild my life with them in it. I am so sorry for the pain and mental health affects I have put onto them by me withdrawing from their lifes so much. I honestly could not see the affect I was having on them while I was drowning in my own world of darkness.
I have been out or hospital for 1 week and have tidied up some lose ends with work. I will be re-admitting myself to hospital for a 3 week program to get on top of the awful disease called Depression and start the jouney of rebuilding myself and my life.
This last week has been the worst week of my life. I have lost everything in my life that is worth having. I cry like a baby most days but I have taken the steps to try and get better.
I just feel so confused and lost its all just so overwhelming
