Newbie's Social Club - Come make some friends!

[Glenn942]

Sounds like the perfect place for you. I have an idea what you are feeling as I guess most here do and I'll listen and help if I can. I care about people and what they are going through

[Glenn942]

@Ru-bee ok got it now 🙏

[Hopeandlove]

@Ru-bee thanks for that tip. I hope that works ok?

[Ru-bee]

Perfect @Hopeandlove @Glenn942  😁

[rav3n]

hey there @Hopeandlove welcome to the forums! just so you know, you do NOT need to be 'happy and positive' all the time to fit in here. you just need to be YOU. some members are cheery and like to keep things upbeat, while others maybe on the opposite end, they might feel quite low and in pain - the community here doesn't judge your feelings and we're here to hold space for the good and bad moments. so please feel free to be yourself, and we're here to listen and support you 💙

[Hopeandlove]

Thanks @rav3n . It seems that my mental health issues are affecting me more than I thought they were. But I'm hopeful that having a space here to share both good and bad will help with my journey. Things will never be 100% ok for me as each day is a battle in itself with my health let alone the mental health issues aswell. But I have to work with what I've got and some days that's harder than others. Some days I question my existence and ask myself why I still keep fighting, other days I have that inner strength to want to prove to others and my thoughts that they are wrong and that I am worthy and even though I'm not perfect that I still deserve to exist.

I'm not perfect, I'm broken and damaged but I'm me!

[rav3n]

every step, no matter how big or little, counts! even if somedays the best you can do is pull yourself out of bed to grab a snack, than woohoo, you did it! @Hopeandlove there tends to be a societal pressure that we need to be 100% every day but that's just unrealistic and tiring. some days rest is super important, and other days we're more productive - finding a balance that works for you is what matters i reckon. i can definitely relate to the inner voice switching from hopeful to hopeless constantly, and from my experience, the more i shut down and challenged the negative inner voice, it has become a lil easier each time to accept the hopeful/positive one... with time of course! so do take your time, i know reaching out is not an easy thing to do so remember to be kind to yourself too, the fact that you're trying already means so much 💙

[Hopeandlove]

Today I went from my bed to my lounge, I walked out the back door to get some fresh air but the heat was too much. So I spent my day just laying on my lounge, I had a small snack and a drink and just relaxed as much as I could. Today was a non productive day but that's ok, tomorrow is another day and I'm not sure what I'll do just yet. That inner voice really does take over alot and challenging it wears me down. Some days I just admit defeat and just lay and stare into darkness, thinking of how things could be different. 

Showing kindness to myself doesn't come easy for me neither does accepting it from others. But that's something I'm working on, it's hard when you've been raised to believe that you weren't wanted and that you ruined lives by being born. I didn't choose to be born and I didn't ask to be dealt such a huge lot of health issues but unfortunately that's what I got. 

[rav3n]

@Hopeandlove it sounds like you've dealt with so much, and i'm really sorry that life hasn't been too kind to you. totally hear that showing kindness to ourselves is often easier said than done, but the fact that you're trying anyways makes a bigger difference than you think. i'm really glad you're here. 💙

[Hopeandlove]

Thanks @rav3n . My life expectancy isn't great and I probably won't make it to my 60's. Some days I treasure each day as if it was my last other days i long for my journey to end so I can have some peace. But today I'm here, it's not my best day but I'm doing my best to make the most of it. Knowing people are here to support me is humbling and gives me the warm fuzzies. So thank you 💜