Christmas..how do we all manage this day?

[Alessandra1992]

Hi all,
Maybe it is only me but Christmas can be very stressful for me.
Some years I am completely ambivalent and other years I love it.
This year I am not sure how/when/where to celebrate . I can get very stressed navigating which parent and/or which side of the family to visit first.
Does anyone have suggestions on how to keep the day focussed on being kind with each other and not getting all out of kink spending time with some family members I would usually avoid?
I know it is for just one day but the pressure can be extraordinary..
Thanks in advance!

[Uggbootdiva]

Yes it can be very stressful . Many years ago I decided to let go of the perfect dream shown in catalogues, and just accept that sometimes this day is really boring and really sucks! There are sometimes nice moments during the day and I try to enjoy those.

Everyone expects so much, but it is just an ordinary day and it's ok if it's not perfect.

Navigating which family is hard and I've for nothing for you except to say you can't please all people all iof the time. And making some one feel bad for not coming to their Christmas? Well that's just a poofart thing to do.

[Neb]

I have always been fortunate with this day. My family is very pleasant and everyone never ever raises contentious issues! I won't be with the family this Christmas, although a family member may visit during the summer and I have tentative plans on visiting in winter.

My Christmas can be very BIG, with midnight Mass, and carols and rosary prior.....therefore bed about 0200 hrs after church from 2230 hrs onwards. It is PACKED and I usually take a sedative prior to it, being a claustrophobe. Otherwise, Mass in the morning......very not packed! There are many families I can visit and for this I am truely blessed. Again, I will have a sedative as the noise level is pretty high due to the presence of hordes of overexcited ankle biters..an essential part of any Christmas festivities.

I will receive a packet from my family, and will have sent some things to them.

[Alessandra1992]

Thanks for your ideas..I am beginning to feel a tentative plan, that is 1) not get caught up in any hoohah with who I don't get to spend Xmas with and 2) think about having a low key BBQ in a park or at the zoo..that way everyone can bring some good cheer and leave when they want...

[chookmojo]

I really struggle with Xmas.

I have not volluntarily participated in this particualry holiday for 20 years, but it is virtually inescaspable - the shops, work, friends and family all PRESSURE me into various forms of participation. Just not participating is viewed very negatively and people demand explanations, (none of which is ever considered 'good enough').

I absolutely hate it.  

This year I have arranged to not work at all during December so that I can avoid the ever increasing xmas hype at work and basically wall myself up in the house and avoid the shops too and sort of bystep it.

I will go to my husband's family xmas as it is REALLY importnant to him, but it literally comes at the cost of me missing a few weeks of work so that I can feel 'upto' it. Last year I couldn't bring myself to go an he was really bummed out.

[Alessandra1992]

Hey @chookmojo, I am so glad I am not Ali e in being overwhelmed by Christmas..and it is most stressful with my side..expectations of "happy families", which with young children can be lots of fun, but needing to balance not getting exhausted by my own parents. Will muddle my way through but I think it is partially as I get older my mum expects more of me..but I really can't overextend ciz running around after 2 energetic boys is enough already!

[JT]

I used to enjoy xmas but I think it was more for the kids.  I took part in the whole xmas lights thing, volunteered for the Somerville wrapping service and even though finances were tight we made our good time.  I withdrew from xmas over the past 5 or so years and just endured anything thrown at me.  

Last year I put my foot down and refused to attend anything.  I volunteered to work through the period (we were closed for all the public holidays) but I put my tree up for the first time in years.  My kids all stayed with me xmas eve and we had a nice relaxing xmas day. 

This year I'm thinking I might do the lights again.  I really did get a kick out of seeing people enjoy them.

[peace]

Christmas seems to be the forced pressure to be not only happy but joyful. It is family originated and gifts seem to be essential these days along with lots of good food. All so very demanding even if you do have the energy, family/friends and money to help get you threw it all.
I try to remember that we as humans need things to celebrate. Things for us to look forward to and perhaps unite us as a people and of course give our young ones reasons for joy and contemplate peace to all mankind.
I light a candle and say something positive and give thanks that I at lest can live realtively free in a peaceful country.
Please remember there are plently of us out there alone at christmas and for some it press'es some really yucky buttons. Maybe we could get together and celebrate not being the only ones who dread this time of the year?? Maybe even share a reasons why??
Anyway you have my true empathy and blessings.

[peace]

I love the idea of a bbq at a park. And a quick dip in ocean is also very refreshing. A good reason to get out of the house.

[kenny66]

sorry to say it but my christmas is a bleak affair. As a CA survivor anything associated with "family' can have very negative conotations for me.

This year I will as usual cook up a doggy/catty meat loaf and take it down the shelter for the dogs and cats.

My flatmate who has paranoid schizophrenia was abandoned by his family when he first got sick, although it doesnt seem to bother him,  so we really make a fine christmas pair.

We adopted 3 rescue cats so we are going to make a big effort to make them feel special and forget our own problems.

Neither of us have any humans to spend christmas day with which could be good or bad. Its nice to hear of other people for which it has a pleasant meaning.