5 hours ago
@PeppyPatti i myself haven't used orange door, but it's a service for family violence etc.
It's not in my state so the services I've reached out to are different ones.
2 hours ago
2 hours ago
This is me telling the that inner critic in my head to shut up, that it's wrong, people do care.
I met with my social worker yesterday/today, I learned what her actual qualification is today as my doctor wanted to know.
She said that I'm a miracle, that having developed the skills and the character and values that I have is an incredible testament to the kind of person I am and the journey I'm on.
She said I'm rare that I've been through so so much and for me to be the person that I am, to have the values I do and the willingness and openness to trust in spite of everything is truly remarkable.
She said that it may feel like I'm often just surviving but in fact there are aspects where I'm thriving and it's beautiful to see, that I may feel negative but I always seem to seek out the positive.
That despite all the beep in my life, that I find joy in the moments.
That my tenacity is something to be celebrated because of the values that I hold.
That she's known me 6 weeks...
If I'm honest, yesterday left me feeling battered, with a piercing headache, like why the heck did they put me through this and ultimately do nothing except put me through a difficult and completely unnecessary experience. There was no point. It left me angry, upset, overwhelmed, triggered, unheard, used and unimportant. Just another person with their agenda for my time and money.
I felt like nobody was going to listen to me, there are other people who need support more than me, that it's not like my voice matters, it's not like my pain matters, it's not like I matter.
So yes this is me telling that critic to shut up.
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