The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

[outlander]

Then @Faith-and-Hope suggestion above might be worth looking into? Its a good idea if you can manage it...
And im more than happy to help and sit with you @Sans911 💕

[Sans911]

There you are @Faith-and-Hope. I buy very few cleaning products because I don't tolerate strong chemicals. So I use most of them for several purposes. I do the majority of the cleaning, gardening, etc anyway. I buy stuff mostly on special or if I can at the discount stores. I usually buy big packs of toilet paper & I could probably take that away from her but that seems spiteful and petty, and that's not me. She has her own food inc tea & coffee plus her own laundry powder. So there's nothing that inconveniences her unfortunately.

And I have asked, asked and asked again for regular payments of any amount but the last time I got any money from her was 6 weeks ago. I'm struggling to keep asking her @Faith-and-Hope as she's an adult and I have been asking now every few weeks for more than 6 months. I'm so done with this that I'm rarely considered. She got pissed with me when I had to remind her to give me fuel money when I let her borrow my friends car that I was minding, that she didn't talk to me for a week! But that was my fault too because I didn't remind her before the day.

[Faith-and-Hope]

I was turning to my brother when I was young and first out of home @Sans911 ..... I over-spent my money and when I ran into trouble, I asked him to help me out, and he did. I hadn’t paid him back before asking to borrow from him again, for the same reason - I had spent outside my means. He again obliged me. When I asked a third time, he simply said no.

It wasn’t that he didn’t love me, and his manner towards me didn’t change otherwise, but he created a very clear boundary, with no other explanation given or needed, and I have remembered that lesson all my life.

I was using him, and his reaction told me that he had recognised that, and that it wasn’t fair.

[Sans911]

He is a good brother @Faith-and-Hope because he taught you a valuable lesson. I hear what you are saying but I can't say no to my house mate if she doesn't pay her way or I risk default notices against me and homelessness with two cats. If she paid her fair share I could actually manage quite reasonably.

[outlander]

Your in a real tight spot arent you @Sans911 i wish she would see what she is doing. Its not fair on you and shouldn't have to go without.
Are you able to show her the bills and the pricing of them all and how much debt for them sometimess that can be an eye opener....

[outlander]

Give her the fact that if she doesn't help the power company might cut you off same as water even though they wont as long as somethings being paid but shes doesnt have to know that
Maybe your foster sister could give you a hand talking to her...

[Faith-and-Hope]

It’s a tough one @Sans911.

Can you ask her to do chores that she doesn’t usually do ?

Could you both work at night-fill ?

[outlander]

I think you might be getting flooded with lots of emotions( could be wrong here..) would you like it put it to the side for now and reasses again tomorrow with a clearer mind knowing nothing can happen tonight and we can talk about something else for now? @Sans911

[Sans911]

She works full time in retail @Faith-and-Hope. She lost her previous job last year about a month after she moved in. She refused Centrelink for 2 months as she was too proud to be on Centrelink but obviously not too proud to leach off me. I has to drive her to the nearest office to make sure she applied. She got her current job in early December.

I am happy doing the house work as I'm very proud of my tidy home (can't same the same for the staff my bedroom right now). She does the dishes quite often as well as sweeping & vacuuming. She keeps her room clean and tidy.

@outlander - I always tell her how much the bills are and what her share is. I get the emails because they're in my name, so I don't see it would make any difference showing her.

And I'm on payment plans for most of my bills which gets tricky to manage. The last thing I want or need is payment plabs or pre payment of utility bills. The amount isn't a little anyway as I'm quite conservative so I pay them in full.

And my foster sister & I have talked about her talking to her, but it's my problem really and I need to be brave enough (which I'm not because I hate conflict about money with a passion).

You need to log out @outlander & so do I. I don't have a bed to get into right now with the stuff piked on top, so I need to clear that away. And I'm super tired right now.

Thanks so much to both of you for listening to me, and your kind suggestions but I'm pretty much stuck for a while in this sh*tty situation. Goodnight to you both.

[outlander]

Pretty much said rhe same thing @Sans911 reabovr msg while you were typing.
Goodnight sis but i will still be up for a while yet if you want to talk at all. Will sit and watch over you tonight 💕💕