Never being in a relationship

[TheRenegade345]

I dont think they were @rav3n Honestly all of these sex therapists/dating coaches have no idea what its like to be on the spectrum.

I think the mixed results stuff centres around the fact that I can talk about sex more but I still have no idea how to get into a sexual relationship whatsoever

Like it is so painful to sit with these feelings. I wish my brain was wired differently

[TheRenegade345]

I appreciate it @tyme 

I have no idea how to change. I have tried for years and I cant get on a date let alone have consistency with women.

I have been crying all night. It hurts so much and I have no resources or support networks to help me out.

No women are interested in me and I have absolutely no options. I have never felt more sexually frustrated than I do right now.

[tyme]

Oh mate, that's tough. @TheRenegade345 . I hear the pain.

I attended a Wellness seminar earlier this week. I wrote so many amazing notes... I'll look for them at some point to see if there is anything relevant to share.

[TheRenegade345]

@tyme 

I feel like I just have no hope. there is nothing out there that can specifically help me on this issue.

[tyme]

In a way, true. Maybe there really isn't anything out there that can help you the way you want the help.. is that fair to say? Maybe the 'real' help looks different? I don't know.

Also, I hear what you mean about the sexologists not being able to meet your need in terms of being neurodiverse. I can see how that can be so frustrating for you.

All I can say for certainty is that you are struggling. I see that. 

What else I can say is that HOPE is what keeps us going. And as you've mentioned, you feel there is no hope. I can see how much your mental health is being impacted.

If I had a magic wand, I'd use it on you. But in reality, I don't.

But I care. And I care that you are hurting. 

@TheRenegade345 

[rav3n]

yeah i had a feeling that might've contributed to your experience @TheRenegade345 having that understanding of the spectrum sounds like it would've helped you out a bit, even if its just making you feel validated at the very least. 

i know you mentioned not feeling hopeful, and not sure if this will give you hope but it's something that helps me find home when society beats me down - technology, resources, services, support, etc., they are all constantly evolving, improving, expanding. so there's a chance that tomorrow or next month or next year there could be something new that pops up, and it helps you get closer to your goal or makes you feel more fulfilled. yes, the waiting around sucks... but i guess that's what makes hope so powerful and worthwhile? sticking through the sucky parts to eventually reap the reward of your hard work. i have hope for you. 

[TheRenegade345]

@rav3n 

I dont want to be depressing or shut down the conversation, but I have been waiting around for over 6 years and nothing has come up. I personally believe that this is an area of life society doesn't have a lot of answers, resources, or support over. How are you meant to deal with sexual frustration? Is there an outlet? I dont know because there doesn't seem to be anything there.

@tyme 

I want to know what the 'real' help is. I dont want vague platitudes and cliches or rosy words of optimism. I want practical strategies to feel like I can overcome this. I have done the work in the therapy room, I want to actually get out and experience life.

[TheRenegade345]

@rav3n @tyme 

Another point to make is a point my friend made the other day. She said that from one perspective dating can be easier for women because they don’t have to do much because men will just come to them. She just sits back and men come to her. 

I have hit a “working on yourself” wall. My legs are trapped in cement. I have no idea what to do and I’m completely stuck. 

how is it that we have no resources for men like me? It’s unfair 

[TheRenegade345]

I cant stop crying, I feel so lost and stuck and hopeless. I hate my life so much and I hate my brain is much

[RiverSeal]

Hey @TheRenegade345, sorry to hear that you are feeling like this tonight. I can relate, as I have had similar feelings in the past. What do you think you can do to get through tonight? RiverSeal