Never being in a relationship

[Jynx]

@TheRenegade345 no apology necessary, like I said I can easily ascertain that it is an easier way to express what you want to express, I just wanted to flag it with you as something to be mindful of. 

Yeah I do get uncomfortable with that kinda stuff being said about men. You definitely didn't deserve to be called a misogynist for calling out crappy behaviour. I think the issue is that you are just as much a victim of toxic masculinity as women (and most men) are, but because of the horrifying cesspool that is gender politics, you've been automatically placed on the 'bad' side of the equation. Which is deeply unfair.

So even if what you say is true, sometimes in these cases people aren't really listening to what you're actually saying, they just hear something that fires them up and then all logic goes bye-bye. That's when name-calling and baseless accusations often start getting thrown around. In my experiences with these kinds of conflicts, if someone has already decided you're the 'enemy' it doesn't really matter what you say, it will be wrong. 

Ugh, I hate gender politics so so much. I think in and of itself, social constructs of gender are a humongus factor as to why dating is such a bloody slog these days. 

[TheRenegade345]

@Jynx 

I am glad that you think that as I feel like there is a real divide between men and women. I feel liken gender politics is one reason why some men have gone right wing. People dont like being blamed for things they had nothing to do with and won't want to work with people who keep attacking them all the time.

I am so scared. What do I do? I feel so alone and lost. I want to give up because this world is killing me

[Jynx]

@TheRenegade345 aye that's it, and it feels like with the recent influx of the demonisation of trans people, the divide is more intense than ever. I dunno, do you ever find yourself out on dates with women who seem to be a bit further outside that kind of black n white rigidity of roles and behaviour? What about yourself, do you ever feel restricted or confined by gender roles in your life? 

It is scary, for sure. I don't have an easy answer for you. I could say, 'keep your chin up, perservere!' but it would be a kick in the teeth I'm sure. A thought did occur to me - you ever heard the saying, 'If you wanna be fit, hang around fit people'? Just wondering about whether it could be beneficial to find a group of guy friends (from what I recall, you have just one really close friend, who is a woman? Correct me if I have that wrong) and just...see what they're doing? Ask em for ideas and pointers and maybe even ask em to be your wing man? I reckon it'd have to be the right type of people though, you definitely don't wanna get your pointers from... well, exactly the sort of guys  we've been speaking about previously 😅

I'm off for tonight my friend, I will catch you tomorrow! 💜

[TheRenegade345]

@Jynx 

Easier said than done, men are had to make friends with. Most have the same problems as me.

I dont know I cant do this anymore, someone please just end this pain there is nothing I can do

[rav3n]

hey @TheRenegade345 i'm so sorry you feel that way. unfortunately i do have to log off now but there will be other mods you can reach out to for a chat too. as you know, we're not a crisis service so if you feel unsafe, please do reach out to Lifeline or SCBS or 000.

we'll be here tomorrow to chat more as well, i really wish i could take away the pain you feel. but the thing about feelings, even pain, is that it is temporary. that pain isn't permanent and things will get better with time. sending you hugs 💜

[TheRenegade345]

@rav3n 

I hope so, even at work today there are reminders of my pathetic existence every where I go. I can’t escape it and it’s getting to the point that I can’t cope anymore. I’m genuinely struggling to function even at my job

[Ru-bee]

@TheRenegade345 I'm hearing how deeply this is hurting right now. 

Have you had any moments recently when your mind has been taken off this even for a little bit? I know that distraction doesn't fix the issue, but we all need a bit of a break sometimes and it sounds like things have been getting to a point of feeling overwhelming.

I'm here with you

[TheRenegade345]

@Ru-bee I play guitar and have been teaching myself some songs tonight.

[rav3n]

@TheRenegade345 what songs have you been learning?? and what type of guitar do you have?? i've always wanted to learn to play, i even bought a classical guitar but found it really hard to self-learn 😅 and now its just collecting dust in my room.

[TheRenegade345]

@rav3n 

I am currently learning "Lookin' Out My Back Door" by CCR, it is a little trickier than I thought.