Thanks for checking in. @rav3n I sent a n email to my son’s social worker today, updating him. I hope it wasn’t breaching anyone confidentiality. My son seems to be going into deep depression and avoidance but also stoic. I love him so much. He doesn’t deserve this, but the trauma patterns keep re-enacting, no matter how much I research and step in or back off. Any walking on eggshells feelings I have are not cos he is being mean or irritable. We have little moments of joy with the cats and watched a show together. I am amazed at his calm, I see it more maybe numbness from being a sensitive caring soul and being set up by his ex and her family. I used to blame myself and my family history but now I see, their role in it more clearly.
I am keeping doing what I believe is best. Garden, food, household management and chores, music. I played the organ yesterday and went across town for a recorder ensemble. We sight read many early music pieces, a Bach fugue and a weird modern piece. The guy organising it is putting me through my paces and we have a concert in September. Inside I am a jumbled churning wreck.
the 90 second thing is a bit of a furphy if taken out of context. It was mainly to encourage people NOT to be so reactive, as the intensity will reduce. My son and I are both very nonreactive. It’s not that we don’t have feelings. Of course we do, but we are used to being thoughtful and respectful, not into knee jerk reactions or putting demands on people.
I really liked the discussion about…. Allowing…. And The nervous system in people with complex trauma.
thanks for not letting me be invisible, that was my norm for most of my life. The forum has helped with that.
