Destiny

[Rockdog]

It is really weird @tyme,

It is a few years ago now. At the time I hated my life and was going through a miserable time and hated life, but I had her support. Now even though I am in a better place, I just want to go back to spend time with her. She told me ‘all you get from looking back is a sore neck’. That was fine at the time when it was happening. Even though I was in such a bad place, I want to reverse to see her 😢

[tyme]

Yet living in the past means you can't move forward, even to see her! @Rockdog 

I'm thinking that if you continue looking back, you'll only ever have a distant memory. At the same time, it's stopping you from moving forward for anything to happen! It also stops you from living in the now and experiencing the now. 

I know you can do it. Just keep going forward. It's not that we 'forget' the past. We acknowledge the thoughts and memories and use them to help you move forward to reach your hopes and dreams.

[Rockdog]

That is a better way to look at things @tyme. Yes maybe that was the start of things getting better for the future. It is something I need to work on. I still remember when she said ‘you’ve got me and looked at me’. I said yeah in a half hearted voice because I didn’t have her. She said ‘I know if isn’t much’ and i  said ‘yes it is’. I still remember it. it has to happen. I need to move forward. I have dropped off a bit at the moment though. I think I have recounted all this before. It just plays on a loop. 

[tyme]

Yes, I've noticed it does ruminate a fair bit. Hopefully we can get you back on track so the train can start moving again. It's been 'stuck' in the same spot for a while now.

On a better note, the train hasn't derailed.

You are actually doing so much better than you probably realise @Rockdog 

Remember, YOU are the driver.

[Rockdog]

Lol @tyme,

I guess it hasn’t derailed, but yes I ruminate all the time and it isn’t nice. I do feel pretty stuck and it has been 3 years now. I feel like it improves a little bit sometimes and then goes back to the start. I was in a lot worse spot last year, so yes it has definitely improved some. It is mostly my anxiety that keeps me asking all the same questions, even when you gave me the answer. I need to just relax and go with it. 😊

[tyme]

And you know what is really incredible? You are always open to suggestions to help you better yourself. This is why there is growth in the first place. It's okay if it is already 3 years. Slow and steady wins the race. 

Have you ever noticed that the people who start something with a flying start also pull out very quickly? I've often considered this. Then, on the other hand, you have those people who are very slow and gradual in what they do, and these are they people who end up 'winning'?

@Rockdog 

I guess each have their pros and cons, but I'd much prefer the slow and steady. That's also me and how I work. I never fully jump into something. I test the waters, analyse, 'dip' my toe in etc... but when they've got me, then they've got me for life.

I feel like this may be similar... SLOW and STEADY.

And yes, I totally agree that you are in a much better place this year than you were last year.

Anyway, I've got to dash. Have a good night.

[Rockdog]

Thanks @tyme ,

Night night. Yes slow and steady, and I am always open to learning and improving. Let’s just hope I can win the race to her heart. 😢

[Rockdog]

Hey @tyme ,

how are you going tonight? 

[rav3n]

hiii @Rockdog !!! how's your night going?

[Rockdog]

Hi @rav3n ,

not the best my Hawks lost and I’m feeling pretty low actually.  How is your night going?