BPD and managing emotions

[Billamba]

Hello @Crazy_Bug_Lady

Thank you for responding to me. It's nice to be aknowledged and be able to share and discuss these things. 🙂 

I completely relate to your writing about how frustrating it is to go through so much work and effort just to pass as normal. I am not sure I am passing that well at the moment but by goodness I put in some much effort to learn these things but in the moment I still seem to be losing everything I have learnt! 

I like your your idea of a thought diary. I have been working on looking for evidence to my thoughts in my head but I do think writing it down might be a really good way for me to actually get better at doing evidence looking work efficiently. I also saw on here earlier today someone's post from a little while ago about journal. Someone had created a scale too. I can't quite remember how it worked but your thought diary reminded me of that which is something I most certainly want to explore further. 

Thank you x

[AnnieB]

Hi Billamba

Of course you want to be 'normal'! But some people are just a wee bit differently organised at their genetic level and if they had some difficulties when young, then this kind of not being able to handle emotions can crop up. & that's where extra tools are needed. Also, even if people have been given a bad set of cards to begin with, they can still get a winning hand at the end. The bad beginning is not destiny!

That's an excellent idea about the bright visual page/poster! Go for it!

& With mindfullness / brain training, one should just do it diligently every day, just non-judgementally noticing any thoughts and emotions that pop up, and then return your focus onto whatever you were attending to (which could be sounds, touch sensatiions, your breath, the darkness in front of your eyes....). This activity will physically change & heal your brain over time (brain scans can show that now ). Hence start as soon as possible. Don't wait.  It might take about 6-8 weeks to notice some benefit. So be patient. It's a bit hard doing it from reading about it only though, is there a group near by you right now?

Wish you all the best!

cheerios for now

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

@Billamba

Here's a copy of the Thought Record I use. The idea is to fill one out each time you have an overwhelming emotion. So my PDoc wanted me to fill out one daily. After a while I only really do it when I am completely overwhelmed, as I can mostly do it in my head to a certain degree.

Also, I think the daily journal was this thread I started. I haven't been using scales on it, as one day I can "handle" things, so would score low on a scale, where the following day the same thing could completely overwhelm me. I have an alarm set on my phone that goes off each night, and the only way I can shut off the alarm is by taking a picture of the inside cover of the diary.

It may be a good idea to try the daily journal. I'm not writing much, just how much sleep I got, how I feel right now, and a rough description of my day, including and emotions I felt, and how I handled them.

[Rochelle23]

Thanks for sharing I'm going to start this because I think it will help xxx

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

Hi @Rochelle23 I thought the Thought Record was a pain, and I was convinced that it wouldn't help. However, as I said, I've realized that I have been doing it unconsciously in my head. So someone or something would set me off, and I'd start to think "they must hate me" for example, but then I'd stop and think and realise I am probably over thinking it.

I've only been doing the daily diary for a week now, but I can understand that over time I may see a pattern.

[Rochelle23]

That's great, it is a pain but good for you for giving it a go.
Can I ask how you post? I cant find where I can personally post.

[Crazy_Bug_Lady]

How do you mean @Rochelle23??

[Former-Member]

If you open up one of the areas ie somethings not right or enjoying time with others then at the to will be a button that says new discussion - click that and you can start a new thread 😉
@Rochelle23

[Ellie]

In order to get help in the form of DBT, I completely upended my life. I sold my home of 22 years because it was literally killing me to stay there in isolation any longer. I ended up in care because of it. I then moved over 100klm and am back to renting again. The money is a concern, but whilst in care, I had the most beautiful psychiatrist. It's rare for me, but we just hit it off right away when I saw how she calmly handled my sister's rage which was directed at the system.

Since then, I've had to swap to a whole new psych team because of the area I'm now living in (didn't see that one coming) and I don't trust the psych at all. I'm seeing my case worker today and I just know she's going to tell me that the psych is either taking me off a particular medication that's really helped with my stress and anxiety, social phobia etc, or has lowered the dose. I've been keyed up terribly about the possible medication change since I saw her well over a week ago. She told me she was going to review my meds and asked me how I'd handle a lower dose. Then I had to wait almost two weeks for my case manager to return from her break. It's been an emotional roller coaster with a couple of incidents of SH and using something I can't mention here. People say to me...... "Settle down and wait to see what your case manager has to say before getting so distraught, but they don't have BPD. It's just not that easy!!

I've only just got my Internet back on since the move, so haven't been on here much. Of course I haven't even addressed the topic and I'm sorry about that. I guess all I can say is that when I'm in a highly emotional state, as I am at present, everything I've learned about mindfullness etc, just goes out the window. At least it appears I've gotten into the assessment interview stage for the DBT program, but I know it's going to be hard work and I can't help but wonder if at my age, is it going to make any difference. Yep! There's that negative thinking coming to the surface again 😞

Ellie.

[Billamba]

Hi @AnnieB

I would love to access to a mindfulness group but unfortunately I currently live in outback Australia, miles from any little town let alone a regional centre! Once I move home this will be something I will look into though. For now I just stick to Skype sessions with the MH nurse and visiting her clinic when I am in 'town'. Thank you though!