Please help me understand my friend** trigger warning, sexual abuse mentioned)

[Grace01]

I firstly wanted to start off my saying, I suffer with anxiety and sometimes, depression so I understand how others struggle.

But at the moment, I'm really struggling to understand a friend of mine.

I love my friend dearly; she's just turned 69 but everything she shares with me is dramatic and I'm trying to understand if her stories are fabricated or is her life this dramatic.

She has always been over-the-top about celebritities and follows a lot of them online and claims that she knows them. That may be true.

But now this is about her younger sister, who I know.

She keeps telling me about her sister's poor health and I do believe she does struggle with poor health but every week it is something different.

She will message me or call me to share about her sister.

Content/trigger warning

Years ago, it was her sister fell in the bath and hurt herself.

Apparently, the sister spent many  months in hospital from this. [edited by moderator]

But the sister has also

had

knee replacements

hip replacements

tumour on the brain

surgery on the brain and now suffers from epilepsy

She tells me the sister has falls just about every week

and always fracturing arms, legs, etc.

She shared with me that sister was sexually abused by father. (He has since passsed away). Apparently, the father sexually abused her (when he was suffering from dementia)

The other week sister was in hospital with stones in the kidney and, apparently it's so bad they are talking about a 'kidney transplant"

I tried to follow that up, but she hasn't had the stones removed.

Now, the other day, she fell in her bedroom injured her face severely [edited by moderator]

Now, she is in hospital and has a fractured arm and foot

and fell a few days ago on her walker and hurt her forehead [edited by moderator]

and she had to be transported to another hospital for that injury. [edited by moderator]

She has also said that her sister phoned her last night and told her the angels are coming to get her, but apparenty, today, the sister is doing better and much brigher.

but that could all change.

My friend asked for me to meet up with her on Friday for her birthday

I went out and bought her a gift and now she tells me she can't make it

This happens quite a bit.

She changes her mind.

But the drama continues all the time.

It's been happening for years but is getting worse.

I don't know what   to believe anymore.

It makes me a bit cranky.

[Ru-bee]

Hi @Grace01 

So it sounds like there are two aspects that you're struggling with in this friendship: That you're not sure whether your friend is exaggerating certain stories, and that your friend can be a bit unreliable, is that right?

Have you ever spoken to your friend directly when you've felt confused in the relationship?

[Grace01]

Hi and thanks for your reply.

No, not directly.

But, I do check in from time to time, to see how things are going and I ask if person is still having surgery or transplants, etc.

The story changes so then I know it has been fabricated.

I am not sure how my friend would respond when I ask her.

She may be offended by me not truly believing her stories.

I am not sure what to do, but do thank you

I suppose I can set better boundaries or not respond to her messages as much.

[tyme]

Dear @Grace01 ,

Thank you for sharing your story about your friend. It certainly sounds so difficult. Yet I'm mindful that you need to protect yourself too.

How have you been since you last posted?

[tyme]

How are you going @Grace01 ?