25-02-2021 09:58 PM
25-02-2021 09:58 PM
Hello and hugs @TideisTurning , @Emelia8 , @jem80
We will be able to share here my friends xxx
I am off to bed now , hope you sleep ok tonight ❤❤❤❤
25-02-2021 09:58 PM
25-02-2021 09:58 PM
I'm not sure @Emelia8, but I don't think you were the only one. I will ensure it's passed back to the team so we can look into it 😊
25-02-2021 10:21 PM
25-02-2021 10:21 PM
25-02-2021 10:25 PM
25-02-2021 10:25 PM
The bits that I seen of it, it looked good. The page kept jumping to the top and I had to keep scrolling back down. I gave up.
26-02-2021 12:05 AM
26-02-2021 12:05 AM
Thanks for the shout-out @Shaz51
I didn't know this was on - I haven't been into the site much lately - I have needed the time for self-care - too much pain.
I will think about Boundaries etc - I needed them with my son but he had no idea that people needed boundaries and he was young
I'm sorry to hear about your Mum @Adge - she sounds toxic - she is setting boundaries herself but in a very unhealthy way - a little like my mother was - it was her way or the highway -
But we do need boundaries and we need to be assertive about protecting them - and Shaz - obviously Mr Shaz needs to leave early to go to bed and that's his right but people wonder and wonder - but you don't need to explain - it's possible other people wouldn't get it anyway
We mostly don't need to explain our boundaries - we do need to know where they are and why
Catch up later - it's time for me to go to bed
Dec
26-02-2021 08:22 AM
26-02-2021 08:22 AM
Thanks for the tag @Shaz51
Cant believe I missed this one. Will have to check it out.
26-02-2021 09:52 AM
26-02-2021 09:52 AM
Sure thing @BPDSurvivor! 😊For everyone else here too:
Here is the resource we shared on how to set boundaries in relationships, and
here is the resource I shared with you @BPDSurvivor which talks about rigid, porous, and healthy boundaries
26-02-2021 10:05 AM
26-02-2021 10:05 AM
of all the discussions I probably should have been there for....
my boundaries are such that I was too scared to go online when I should have been in the kitchen preparing his dinner, and the consequences of him thinking I needed support in the first place were just not worth it
says a lot, doesn't it?
I'm supposed to work from home on a Friday, but he started at 4:30am and I just couldn't take a full day of it while trying to work at the same time. I was at the office by 6am and I've had 6 missed calls, 4 voicemails and 2 texts asking me why I don't care whether he's coping or not.
I have no boundaries. He walks all over me and I beg for more. This is my failure, not his.
26-02-2021 10:21 AM - edited 26-02-2021 10:22 AM
26-02-2021 10:21 AM - edited 26-02-2021 10:22 AM
@SJT63 that sounds like a lot to be dealing with; I'm sorry he doesn't respect your boundaries.
I'd like to share with you something I shared in the event itself last night, which is that if people in your life don't respect your needs and boundaries, or if you’re concerned about your (physical, emotional, or psychological) safety- please reach out to services like 1800 RESPECT (www.1800respect.org.au), Relationships Australia (www.relationships.org.au), or Lifeline (www.lifeline.org.au)
26-02-2021 10:38 AM
26-02-2021 10:38 AM
@Former-Member
thanks. Although that doesn't work. When I talk to professionals about this the unanimous verdict is that I can't life like this.
However, there is no alternative. If I push back he threatens self harm, like he is today via text and voicemail. I can't leave because it's my house. I can't make him leave because a) he won't go and b) it would be the end of him. I can't have that on my conscience.
His autism prevents him seeing my boundaries and his bipolar and ptsd see him rage if I overstep his. He has many, ever changing boundaries of which I only become aware when I cross them. This morning I gave him coffee in the wrong coloured cup. That was a new one that totally blindsided me.
Everyone I talk to tells me I can't live like this and can't or won't understand that I have no choice.
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