Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Healandlove]

Hi everyone, 

Today I'm feeling about a 4.

My anxiety is high. I am struggling with worry about the present and future.

I also have a bad backache 😔.

Today I am going to do some deep breathing and take regular breaks from work. Perhaps even some light reading.

Wishing everyone a good Tuesday. 

[Shaz51]

Caring for loved ones living with complex mental health issues can be really challenging, and the carer's experience can often be overlooked and/or difficult to talk about day to day. We have created this space so that those feelings, challenges and accomplishments can be heard, and to promote carer's wellbeing and self-care. 

To participate, here are 3 questions for your daily check in: 

     1) How are you feeling? 

         You can use a scale of 1-10 (1= really bad , 10= really good), if you would like to.

     2) What is one thing you have struggled with, and one thing you have done well?

     3) What is one nice thing you can do for yourself today?

You're welcome to check in daily, or how ever often you need to! Please just remember to be respectful and kind to each other as each of our experiences are so different. 

Feel free to tag any carers you know in this space!

Hello @Krishna , @Thomas3 , @Determined , 

@Healandlove , hope you are feeling a bit better today 

For me i am feeling a 5 

as my husband had a bad night sleep last night 

i did do a few things early this morning which is good as it is soo hot now 

my osteoarthritis is playing up now and feeling tired and yukky in the stomach 

think i will try and have the rest of the day resting i hope 

@Rocky23 , @Charlii , @hanami , @Blackbird11 , @MrsMac , @CalmOne  

[Healandlove]

@Shaz51 sorry to hear your osteoarthritis is playing up today. The changes in weather don't help. Hopefully it is better by the end of the day.

Thank you for posting the daily check in.

1) I am feeling about a 6 today.

2) My anxiety is medium high due to feelings of uncertainty about the future, split alliances within the extended family (my mum and sister seemingly on one side against my husband and my Dad on our side...I think). I fear that due to my husband's mental health struggles my parents may eventually side with my sister and her family who have estranged us. I think my Mum has already but my Dad not yet. I feel like I am stuck in the middle and like the only person that cares about me is me. Hard work supporting someone through complex-PTSD whilst still trying to support myself. 

I think what I have been doing well to cope is remind myself that in the end we can only truly rely on ourselves.  I have tried to keep my anxiety levels in check.

3) I am decluttering the house which I hope will give me some sense of peace.

Hope everyone is doing something to heal and self care today. Sending hugs to this community. 

[Shaz51]

sending you lots of understanding hugs @Healandlove 

you are not alone my friend 

I can`t  talk to my husband`s family and feeling soo alone from my family 

hope you decluttering is better then mine

one step at a time here 

hello @RiverSeal 

[Krishna]

Hi @Shaz51  Im about a 7 today which is pretty good. I managed to hose my car down this morning as was looking worse for wear with lots of dusty dirt road travels to the beach this week. It took it out of me as still feeling quite fatigued from Covid a few weeks ago so this afternoon I plan to be gentle on myself and rest. 

[Shaz51]

Well done for this morning @Krishna 

Hope you feel better now after Covid19 

Mum caught Covid19 in hospital and all the aged care had to be isolated 

All good now  

A rest this afternoon sounds good 👍 

Hello @Healandlove , how is your afternoon 

[Healandlove]

@Shaz51 sending you hugs. So hard and lonely being in the middle and not feeling supported while we have to be the support. Thank you for reaching out. The kindness of this community helps immensely. Decluttering is going OK. As I clean the kids make more mess 🤯🤯🤯. But at least it's a distraction. 

[Shaz51]

How many little ones do you have @Healandlove 

I have 4 step children all grown up now but when they were little,  when I decluttered it was like new treasures to them 🤣😂😁

[Healandlove]

@Shaz51 your treasure comment made me laugh 😃,  exactly like my kids. I have 2 under 10s. A girl and a boy. My boy specially doesn't like to get rid of things as he tells me to keep them as a memory 🥲. He takes after me 😂.

[Healandlove]

Today I am feeling about a 2. I am so emotionally tired after listening to my husband yesterday express that he feels isolated and that he doesn't matter. He also said in front of the kids that he has 15 years top to live. That would take him to 65 which is so young. His negativity and desire for constant validation drains me. I would like to ask the community as carers what helps you, words you say to your loved ones when they voice their emotions,  thoughts? He is having a low week. This is what I mean 1 step forward and 2 back. I know his cptsd makes him think he is not worth it and seeks validation but the challenge is that even when I offer words of encouragement he can't accept them. For example if I say, "you matter" he says, "no I don't". So these days I don't know what to say and it just leaves me in a place of emotional exhaustion. 

I really hope with time he can become more positive.  

Hope you are all well 🥰