First post in a while: it's hard to revisit the fires

[YouAreNotAlone]

Hello all,

I was quite active in this forum late last year, so this is my first post in a long time.

I'm truthfully finding it hard to  be on anything bushfire related at the moment. I'm writing a collection of stories about the survival of people in my town, and that's triggering enough . . .

It's a weird space to be in. I can't look at photos or videos. I have found it hard to come on this forum too, because I found it easier to just ignore it. Thinking about it just made me anxious and feel like I couldn't breathe.

I thought I'd be better by now, but I am pretty sure I have PTSD. I have no idea how to go about a diagnosis though or if it's worth being diagnosed (had a psych tell me "it doesn't matter" if I get a diagnosis or not).

I'm also in a documentary on the bushfires. I haven't been able to watch it. I just feel so helpless. Like I speak out, and I don't have any right to because I didn't lose my home. But I want to speak out and be a voice for people who can't. Because it's crap. SO many people are still suffering, and I can't do anything to help them. And then I feel like I'm trapped in my mind.

Í'm sure I'll feel better once I finish my book but it's a lot. I cried after my last interview. Just have to keep pushing on, doing self-care, going to my psych . . . and remind myself it's okay to not be okay.

How is everyone else doing a year and a half or so later?  I love you all. You are not alone.

[TideisTurning]

Hi @YouAreNotAlone, 
It's lovely to see you here, though I'm sorry to hear you've been having a rough time. It seems understandable though, almost to be expected given everything you've been through as well as the few triggers it sounds like might have occurred recently. I want to say too that your experiences are every bit as valid as anyone else's. You may not have been affected in the same way or to the same extent as others, but you've still been affected. Something I've learnt is that everyone's story is different, and what may be huge for one person is almost inconsequential to another. Any and all of these are valid. Please take good care of yourself, and I hope things improve very soon. 🌷

[Appleblossom]

Dear @YouAreNotAlone 

It sounds like you are doing all you can to be responsible for your mental health and advocate in creative and productive ways for your community.

I am a city person and was lucky not to be effected by the fires, but I know that tragedies like that take a LONG time, years, to get over.  I mentioned the fires recently, but I am glad you posted and reminded us all about the suffering and difficulties.  The news moves at such a rapid rate, and the out of sight out of mind can be heart wrenching as there is so much to be done on the ground.  Keep being you, and when overwhelmed give yourself CREDIT for doing what you can.