@HappierIt us sad when the one we love and care for is unhappy, there is grief and loss in mental illness. Finding our own joy as a carer in no way diminishes the empathy we have for the ones we love and our joy can be beneficial to our loved one.
Can I please be blunt and say that for myself that I could not place the responsibility my joy and wellbeing on the person I care for, he already struggles with what he feels is a too heavy burden for me and I would not want him to feel he is causing me to be miserable.
Understanding MI and the disorders that Mr Darcy has been diagnosed with was the first step for me, having a safety plan in place and feeling satisfied that I have done in a practical manner what needs to be done was another. Attending a Wellways carer education "building a future snapshot" was also beneficial. If you are in an Eastern state this might be available to you (and is free).
https://www.wellways.org/our-services/support-families-friends-and-carersThere have been a few websites that have helped:
http://mhr4c.com.auThis is a Qld site for carers - explains so many things that are helpful
http://www.bphope.comThis is a bipolar specific online resource
http://freshhope.usThis site helped me hold on to defiant hope, I found it after my husband attempted. It helped me understand that you can live well in spite of a mental health diagnosis. This is almost my motto and in time I am hopeful that Mr Darcy will too hold to this. Fresh Hope is a religious group that has tenets like Al Anon does - this is one of their caregiver tenets:
At times I also feel hopeless, letting my loved one’s actions and recovery define my happiness. Therefore, I choose to live with healthy emotional boundaries, and I choose my own joy despite the ups and downs of my loved one.
@Happier I hope that some of these resources will be of help to you.
Darcy
