For years I was in and out of emergency departments, went from therapist to therapist, clinic to clinic. I pretty much gave up on looking anymore until I stumbled across Spectrum in Victoria – a specialist service for personality disorders. I didn’t know much about the service, and so after having a referral put in, and Spectrum phoning me many times, I didn’t respond. Eventually, I received a letter which pretty much said that if I didn’t respond, I’d be taken off the wait list. This was the first marked difference between this service and other services. Why did they keep phoning me, and then eventually send me a letter?
I believe it was the underlying BPD Core Principles of Care that meant they recognised the difficulties for some borderlines to trust people and engage in therapeutic relationships.
Long story short, I had the privilege of engaging in Mentalization-Based Therapy. It was lengthy therapy of twice weekly 1-2 hour both group and individual sessions. Group sessions had a maximum of 8 people, and individual sessions were 1:1 with a regular psychologist. It required persistence and commitment to engage in MBT.
For the first year or so, I routinely attended, however, I didn’t see much progress. Or let’s just say, I didn’t really reflect on any progress made because I was often caught up in my own emotional distress.
It wasn’t until towards the end of treatment that I turned and sort of said, “Wow! Something’s different!” At that time, I couldn’t pinpoint what the difference was. It was as though my way of thinking had transformed into a different process. I used to always jump into the negative. But MBT helped slow things down so I became more proactive rather than reactive to environmental triggers.
MBT treatment for my BPD was a life-altering part of my life. It was marked by uncertainty, difficulty and change. Yet it also led to a whole new way of thinking.
It truly was the core principles of care that supported me to continue and press on, especially when it was tough.
