Hey there @RainbowUnicorn, thank you so much for posting. Please know you're not alone and the community is here to listen. Definitely a lot of the experiences you're describing here are symptomatic of BPD, and you indeed both deserve and need support with this; so again big props for sharing your story here on the forums 
At the end of your message you mentioned safety which is such an important word to use, because at a minimum in our lives each human being has a right to both emotional and physical safety. I would definitely recommend chatting to the team at our help centre for some info (their number is 1800 18 7263), also check out Project Air and SPECTRUM, as well as QLife. QLife are really good as an org, they have both chat and phone available from 3-10pm
How are you feeling now after getting this all down on "virtual paper"? Speak soon!
