Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[GBN]

In the past 3 years I’ve been made redundant, seperated from my husband of 24 years and have been caring for my elderly parents. My parents have got care needs beyond what I can provide. I recently had a terrible argument with my brother and ruined our relationship. My parents will no longer speak to me because I think we should sell the house and they should go into a nursing home and due to my relationship with my brother. I am a child survivor and am currently suffering PTSD due to all this stress. I really feel unsupported and am not doing well. If it weren’t for my kids I’d probably give up completely.  I’m not sure where to turn. I see a psych and have been given medication but feel like giving up. 

[WinterSun]

Hi @GBN 

Please don’t give up.

You’ve suffered some terrible losses. Each on their own warrant time to grieve and adjust to without having them collide together.

I’m glad you found the forums and hope that you will find support and understanding here.

Do you also speak with a counsellor or psychologist ? Psychiatrists often do not offer much talk time. At this point getting as much support as you can is important to help you through.

Caring for elderly parents is challenging, especially when they are no longer managing in their home. Now they are not speaking with you perhaps your brother will need to help or they will realise they are not coping. Having distance at this time might help them to realise, and your brother, of the strain of meeting their needs.

I hope writing it down has helped a little.

Please take care of yourself.

I hope you can find a little bit of peace and comfort to keep you going.

WinterSun

[GBN]

Thanks Wintersun for your reply. Writing it down did actually help. I appreciate your response

[SJT63]

@GBN little wonder you are feeling overwhelmed

I suggest to take some time out.. .and if they're not talking to you that won't be too hard... and do something for you!

It might be a whole day watching netflix, having a weekend away, a day out with your kids or, like I do when I need some "me" time, locking myself in the craft room and ordering take-away.

Breathing space and some decent sleep make all the difference to me.

Assume you are familiar with https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/   ???? They are a great landing place to look into what other help your parents can get that  may help them stay home a bit longer. My in-laws have someone to do the heavy cleaning and gardening now. Meals on Wheels are awesome if mum can't keep up with the cooking anymore.

I'm sure there will also be carers support groups for people looking after elderly relatives. 

Don't give up. 

xoxo

[GBN]

Thank you so much for your response. My dad has been approved for a higher level Home Care package through My Aged Care, but has been waiting for the higher funding in line with his care needs. He has deteriorated significantly and really now needs high care nursing home.

I actually went out for lunch today for some me time, and some space. Feeling a little better.

Many Thanks 🙏