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Mash15
New Contributor

Need Advice on dating (please forgive my English it’s my second language)

Hi, i have always went through life alone and had no regrets ever in life. Recently I started talking to this girl i met and got emotionally attached to her we went on a few dates but recently she came out and told me she found someone else over text at that time i reacted calmly and wished her for the future, but for a few days I can't forget about her she has been on my mind. I'm meeting her tomorrow to help her out with something i'm not sure if i should tell her how i feel about her she is happy with the new boyfriend but she is a very understanding person i hope she will understand my thoughts about her i dont want to break her current relationship or anything i just want her to stay happy. It's something in my heart and mind that's making me can't forget about it easily i feel if i share with her how i felt about her would make me close this chapter easier. Please need some advice if I should tell her or not?

5 REPLIES 5

Re: Need Advice on dating (please forgive my English it’s my second language)

Hello @Mash15 

Its great you have resilience and no regrets about your decisions. 

 

I think relationships with opposite sex can often have the effect you described.  Really often.  Aloneness can be greatly softened by good company.  The longing likely stays for a while and can even become a lovely memory in the future.  One of the good times to look back on.

 

There is no right way to manage your situation you do have to feel your way through it.  I often wanted to remain on friendship terms with others I had also hoped for relationship with.  It is good to find a way to communicate about it without too much intensity or drama, as that may frighten her off.

 

Welcome to the forum

Smiley Happy

Re: Need Advice on dating (please forgive my English it’s my second language)

I don't think I would tell her as I would not want risk what you already to go away.   I would just be a good friend. One can never have enough friends. I suspect she knows you like her and would certainly value your freindship. Some things need not to be said. It is a brave thing to talk about this on the forum. 

Re: Need Advice on dating (please forgive my English it’s my second language)

@Mash15

I really have no practical experience in this subject. However, in my opinion, it is likely she already knows what you are thinking and feeling. Therefore I think it would be better in the long term to not say anything direct because your friendship will be stronger.

Re: Need Advice on dating (please forgive my English it’s my second language)

@Mash15 

 

The advice here is great. I would like to add though that while you want her happiness and you have wished her well. I see that you had an emotional attachment with her. That is perfectly fine. We all get attached to things and people. I am thinking though that your happiness is just as important. Perhaps you just need a bit of time to work through your own emotions and feelings before you can return to a purely platonic friendship. I think it is ok for you to be honest about that only if it is how you feel in yourself though and I do hope if you are to do that, she will be supportive and wait until you are ready. I wish you all the best. 

Re: Need Advice on dating (please forgive my English it’s my second language)

Thank you everyone it's something that i felt i had to tell her. We talked about it and i wished her good luck for her future and she was very understanding of the situation at that time this has placed a setback on our friendship, but you got to move on its life. I'm much more stable now she made me a much better person even though she isn't a part of my life anymore it has made me realize to focus more on myself and strive to be a much better person for someone else.

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