Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Joonbug]

Hi All, I am still getting my head around my husband's diagnoses of STPB. 

I have been thinking about the report he got. 

Firstly, he was asked to get two people to fill in a questionnaire and he chose ex-work colleagues. It made me quite cross as obviously they don't actually know you outside of work. My friend pointed out that even though he has tried to manipulate the process it was seen through and he still got diagnosed regardless so I am trying to let go of my anger. 

Secondly, I would have thought that at some point in the 12months of therapy to diagnose I might have been included in one of the sessions .. but not once was I asked to contribute. Is that normal?

We haven't spoken about the report/diagnosis at length as to be honest I am angry over the answers. It doesn't matter as he still got diagnosed but the lies on the paper make me livid. I am seeing my own therapist Tomorrow to discuss more. 

[Paperdaisy]

Hi @Joonbug I would have thought you would be included in the care plan but I don't have experience with this so I'm unsure. I can feel how angry you are. How are you feeling today? I hope your therapist was able to offer you some support and clarify a few things for you. Take care 💝

@Shaz51 @maddison @ShiningStar 

[Joonbug]

Thank you @Paperdaisy 

My therapist was very helpful and we mapped out my feelings on a whiteboard to put them in order and get them out. 

Under his advice I will be writing out all my thoughts before I have a discussion with my husband to help stay on track. There is no recommendation on the diagnosis report on how we 'live' with this and move forward so that is definitely something we need to discuss. Maybe a signal system for when he is being out of line with the kids etc (he can come down too hard on them at times as they are interrupting him). 

[Paperdaisy]

Sounds like you have been able to make a plan with your therapist @Joonbug and I hope this relieves some of the stress and uncertainty. Sounds like this will be an ongoing process of working out how to live with this and please know you are welcome to check in with us as those difficult times emerge. We are here 😊

Sending strength.