Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Clee]

Hi 

My partner has BPD 

And I'm hoping to find some tools to help him better 

[tyme]

Hey @Clee ,

Welcome to the forums!

BPD is one of the most searched conditions on the forums. It seems that there is such limited understanding of what BPD is and how to help on with BPD.

I'd like to direct you to a few threads which may help:

Topic Tuesday // Supporting loved ones living with BPD // Tuesday 25th January, 7pm-8:30pm AEDT 

Topic Tuesday// Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Week 2022: 'See The Person'// Tues 27th Se... 

Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script 

I'm also going to tag @Determined and @BPDSurvivor who may offer some insight by sharing their experiences.

Do you have any particular questions you'd like to ask about BPD?

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Clee,

Welcome to the Forums. My name is FloatingFeather and I am one of the peer support workers at SANE. It is nice to have you with us.

I don't actually have any personal experience around BPD but I will add a couple of links that may be off some help to you:

- BPD Facts and Guides 

- BPD chat 

I would also encourage you to seek some support for yourself. I am a support carer for a close family relative with a serious mental health diagnosis (more than 20 years now) so I understand the importance of a carer also being cared for. 

- Families and carers 

Your desire to reach out to help find ways to support your partner speaks a lot about you. Your partner is lucky to have such a kind and supportive person like you. 

I with the best to you both.

Warm regards,

FloatingFeather

[Sharni-lea]

@BPDSurvivor looking for insight into pwbpd as we are 7 months in and I'm feeling so deflated, don't know what is real and what is likely to be bpd cycles. Any engagement would be appreciated, is there a link to old posts even? I've read all resource a million times just want lived understanding x

[BPDSurvivor]

Hey @Sharni-lea ,

It's tough. BPD is a roller coaster of a condition. 

For me, it was having a distorted understanding of the world and because of this, every emotional bump could send me to another level. 

Therapy and a desire for change is what ultimately made the difference. I had to continue to work on thinking in a different way so that myh way of thinking turned to be helpful instead of harmful. In the past, if someone looked at me, I could be triggered into self-harm and destruction. Then again, if someone didn't look at me, it'd also send me to SH and destruction. There was simply no rule book for me to give anyone for the way I behaved.

At the same time, I was the most open, sympathetic, intelligent and helpful anyone could have. This is where the confusion lay. I was so capable, yet so bound up. I was either fiercely independent or totally co-dependant at the same time. Life on the borderline was ALL or NOTHING. It was BLACK or WHITE with no shades of grey...

Check this resource out. You may be able to ask all the BPD questions during these online sessions: https://www.spectrumbpd.com.au/education-training/training-for-the-community

Spectrum was where I got my therapy from a number of years ago. They are a BPD and trauma specialist and one if its kind.

Through having BPD, I've learnt what matters to me in life. I've learnt that I can't be a people-pleaser. I've learnt that life is about give and take, and COMMUNICATION is vital.

I'm still learning.