Lived Experience Forum

[Paperdaisy]

Bringing another human into the world is a huge, transformative event and it can be positive or plans can go awry, and it can be difficult and even traumatic. Birth trauma can be physical and/or psychological and of course these can impact one another. I think it's important to highlight that this can traumatise the birthing individual but also the people around them. I'm sharing these stories as they help normalise how things can deviate from the plan and how people can be left with trauma that impacts their parenting journey. (TW: Please don’t read these if you or your partner are about to go into labour).

If these are unsettling, please reach out to PANDA or Gidget Foundation.

You can read more about birth trauma awareness via The Australasian Birth Trauma Association, which has a strong peer focus.

I had a particularly ridged idea of how my first birth would go and put a lot of focus on the delivery. It wasn’t anything like I imagined and that was a bit hard to take at the time. The weeks that followed were difficult and it’s hard to say if the birth caused that or if it would have always been that way, but it probably didn’t help. The hypervigilance and lack of sleep that followed caused me a lot of mental health problems.

The second time I had a lot of anxiety in the lead up and things went far from planned, but the difference was that I didn’t put pressure on having a textbook delivery. I went in with the attitude that what will be will be, and it helped me go with the flow. Now I think about birth with so much positivity. It truly is incredible and can be very healing. That’s just a little bit about my experience and I’d be interested to hear from others if they feel safe to share. 💝

Please keep this a safe and respectful space. If this has brought up difficult emotions please reach out to lifeline, PANDA or Gidget Foundation.

[hanami]

Love this so much @Paperdaisy . I literally get tears in my eyes and goosebumps whenever I read about birth. Thank you for sharing your story and I'm looking forward to reading about others. 

Hanami 💮

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Paperdaisy,

Thank you for this post and sharing your lived experience - it is really brave of you to share but I think you sharing your story can really help others who have lived through birth trauma and may not feel comfortable to tell their story. I'm really sorry to read about the tough experiences you went through - I think your attitude about letting what will be on your second birthing experience was very clever. 

I have had three birthing experiences and for me the second one was quite traumatic. This was 20 years ago when birth trauma wasn't something I had ever heard of.  I'm so glad that today there is much more information, awareness, and understanding around this topic. It's really great that birth trauma awareness week exists now and that you have kindly shared your experience with us to help others @Paperdaisy.

Best wishes,

FloatingFeather  

[Bow]

Thanks for sharing this @Paperdaisy. I didn’t realise there was such a week. 

i was like you, and had a pretty clear plan of how I wanted the birth of my daughter to go and unfortunately it didn’t go anywhere near to plan at all. It was really hard on my body and so was the weeks and months that followed. Shortly after my daughter was born I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and there is some research that trauma can trigger it. 

🎀

[hanami]

Hi @Bow 

Thanks for sharing your story about birth. It's interesting you say that about fibro after birth because the same thing happened to a friend of mine. 

My births were all quite straightforward but what a toll the pregnancy and birth all take on our bodies! it's amazing what we can do.

❤️

[Shaz51]

Thank you @Paperdaisy , @FloatingFeather , @hanami , @Bow 

I myself have not and could not have a child of my own ❤

[Paperdaisy]

Thanks for sharing @Bow @hanami @FloatingFeather @Shaz51 💝