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Something’s not right

Razzle
Senior Contributor

Women’s Health

I have managed (for a better word) to put off having a Smear Test for over 5 years now - very stupid of me I know.

I had convinced myself that with the death of my father, my marriage breakdown, all the trouble going on with my sons partner through the pregnancy and since the baby was born, becoming a full time carer for my mum - and anything else I could think of, I thought I was just too busy.

 

All that is rubbish of course, my problem is me.  After my history with CSA I don’t like to be touched by anybody, especially where my private parts are concerned.  I’m not embarrassed or ashamed - I’m genuinely scared.  I don’t actually have a GP, and after the fiasco with my mums broken hip I don’t actually trust the Dr’s from my home town.

 

Now that I’m staying in a city while mum is in hospital I plucked up the courage to make an appointment at a clinic to get one done.  I have the appointment, but it will be with a male Dr.  I feel absolutely sick about it.  I need to get it done because I have been feeling bloated, tired and do sometimes get pain, this has been going on for about a year now - but I also think it’s my stupid brain diagnosing the worst.

 

How do other women like me get through this, what do you tell yourselves?  I’m switching between “just suck it up and get it done” and “cancel the appointment, it’s all too hard”.  My heart is beating a million times a minute just thinking about it.

 

On the topic of women’s health, I’m only 48, so I’m not sure that I can get a mammogram like 50yo’s are encouraged to do.  Do I need a Drs referral or can I just front up to an X-ray department?  I do self check and I have noticed a change in the last month or so.  

 

Its so hard coming from  a small town and not actually having a GP, or at least a trusted GP, let alone going into these exams with my history.  A bit of advice or a little encouragement would be much appreciated.

11 REPLIES 11

Re: Women’s Health

Hey there @Razzle I think it's very understandable to have these concerns after the CSA. Thank you for sharing and please know we're all here to listen and support you as a community. Whilst the members can't provide specific professional advice, I am sure many relate to the discomfort of having to get this done. And I am sure many more would also feel more comfortable with a female GP. No chance of requesting a female doctor? The good thing at least about the new screenings are I believe they are every five years now, which is a bit longer. There's some info here if it helps. Hopefully more members chime in soon Heart

Re: Women’s Health

Hey @Razzle  so nuce yo see you on here ❤️
I'm like you that I hate Pap smears. I'm lucky that at my clinic there is a lovely female doctor. And it's not like it used to be. Done very different easy and no pain. 
as for breast tests. I was 50 when I got a letter. I made the appt but was very anxious. It was all good. The lady doing the test was very reassuring and respected me. Don't need a referral. But I'm not sure if you're under 50 Whst you do. 

Re: Women’s Health

@nashy   There’s only one female GP and she’s booked up so it has to be a male.  It also needs to be done so I just have to reassure myself.

 

I wasn’t trying to ask for professional advice, I hope my post didn’t come off looking like that.  I was hoping that others like me could offer me some encouragement and advice on how they got themselves to go through with it and not cancel all together.  I’m still very nervous and anxious about it.

 

Thankyou for the link, I will jump on it now and take a look .

Re: Women’s Health

Hi @BlueBay .  I haven’t had much time on the forums lately, life has been a little hectic and stressful the

last few weeks.  Things are starting to look up concerning my mum, she’s on track to be discharged Tuesday morning.  

 

If she was going to be later in the week I could have seen a female GP, but she wasn’t available until Tuesday afternoon and hopefully we’ll be almost home by then.

 

I am still pretty stressed by the whole appointment, I kind of feel like I need to say something to the Dr beforehand in case I panic mid exam.  But on the other hand I don’t want to talk about it either - I don’t know this person and I don’t trust him enough to say anything, $hit, I don’t trust him full stop.  

 

My head and the little voice inside it is not helping me at all.

 

You are so lucky to have a trusted GP ❤️❤️

Re: Women’s Health

I can understand the anxiety about this @Razzle 

can you wait to see the female doctor? 
Can you write it down and give to this doctor so he understands you're so anxious about the test

I've been missing you on here snd think of you. You are going through so much in your life. 
How are you coping at your mums? 
here for you my friend ❤️

Re: Women’s Health

These days there's the option of DIY smears - ask the dr if you can do that instead. Perhaps you could make an appointment with a physical health nurse in the community mental health part of the hospital to go through your women's health needs?

Re: Women’s Health

@BlueBay   If I knew we were going to be here longer I could wait for a female, but mum was going to be discharged Tuesday morning so I had to take the Monday appointment.  As it is, mum could possibly be discharged Monday, a couple hours after my appointment so I have to take what I can get.  I’m scared out of my brain at the moment, but I really need to get it done.

 

I can’t wait until we can get out of here and head home.  Mums progress since the hip operation has been incredible and we are both ready to get out of here.  We’ll have been here almost 2 weeks, almost 300kms from home so it will be nice to get back to familiar surroundings.

 

It has been a very stressful time lately.  My son and his partner have finally split.  He moved home last weekend.  He spent a night here with me and we did some Xmas shopping together - he is so much more relaxed and happy since he has left the situation he was in.  We will help him any way we can so that he can keep in contact with the baby - I don’t think his ex partner is going to make it easy.

 

Its so nice to chat with you @BlueBay  we have so much in common and I really feel like you understand.  I hope you are keeping well ❤️❤️

Re: Women’s Health

You know @Razzle i wasn't surprised about your son. From all the trouble she snd her mum gave him and you was terrible. Is he seeing the bsby?

does this mean that you'll see the bsby too? I really hope so. 
Will he be living with you? 
thinking of you my friend ❤️🤗

Re: Women’s Health

@BlueBay   He has moved back to our house.  My daughter and her partner are there too, he has been so much happier since they broke up.  He has been able to see the baby.  We were supposed to see the baby and his ex before Xmas - they assured us it was an amicable split - but it seems it’s amicable on her terms.  We will wait and see what happens over Xmas, if the baby is going to be withheld from us, then we will start legal proceedings.  

 

How have you been since your daughter and little A moved out?  I’m sure you have still been getting plenty of cuddles, I really hope so anyway.

 

I hope the dust has settled now that your MIL has passed and the funeral is over.  Now is the time to look back on all the beautiful memories you have of her.  She was very lucky to have you in her life, as you were to have her in yours.  I hope your hubby is ok too.  ❤️❤️

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