@Kyle1
At this stage I think the fallout is mostly in my head. I was worried about the insurance company who paid for me to be there, but I spoke to my psychologist and she reassured me. I am still a bit worried about the personal fallout of me beating myself up about not even being able to hack it for 3 days. My psyche keeps reminding me to reframe. I find that hard. I was seeing the program as a last hope, but that isn’t really the case. I am also finding it increasingly important to stand up for myself since I couldn’t as a kid, so I made a complaint with the facility today. It would be better if I could just let it go, but then it would be me letting myself down. I am pretty quickly into fight or flight just now.
I am finding it easier to see the gift in these shitty situations. This one was being able to recognise a strong flight mode, when I go into fight mode I attack myself and my thoughts go to SH. I think that will be my takeaway from this experience. If I want to run, or SH do all the things I can to get back to thinking mode.
