Lived Experience Forum

[Helpmeheal]

Hi… I am having an especially bad day today. I went through a breakup a few month back and my ex left me for someone else, very suddenly. I have been really struggling ever since. Today, I have tried all my strategies, going for a walk, writing in my journal, listening to an ebook… and I still can’t stop thinking about the break up, the other woman, what was wrong with me, how dark and shapeless I feel inside. I have lost so much… I can’t see a future for myself, no matter how I try. I have had a lot of suicidal thoughts today… no actual planning, but it really does feel unbearable and endless and I don’t know how much longer I can keep being strong. I think I just need support. I have rung beyondblue and lifeline… I wish they helped more, but people just seem to repeat what I am saying back to me and then refer me to services, which leaves me feeling empty. I need to feel like someone is really here for me, I feel so alone, please help me, someone. Anyone. 

[tyme]

Oh @Helpmeheal ,

I'm sorry to hear how to difficult today is for you.

Would you like to have a chat with our SANE counsellors? Although they are not a crisis service, you may feel better after speaking to them.

Their number is 1800 187 263. They are available 10am-10pm AEST Mon-Fri.

Otherwise, I'll be around for a while if you need a chat here.

tyme

[Helpmeheal]

Hi Tyme,

that was a quick response! I don’t know if you are still around, I appreciate you responding. I am really struggling with obsessive thinking and feeling like there is no end to the despair. I might try calling the Sane hotline too. I desperately need to feel like I am not alone. I feel so so so so alone.

[tyme]

You are NOT alone here @Helpmeheal . There is someone (live) here all the time - not a robot!

I used to feel very alone and isolated, but these forums taught me to reach out again and learn to trust people.

What's been happening for you tonight?

tyme

[Historylover]

You're not alone @Helpmeheal, or alone in this experience. It's a situation that is rife. It happened to me, too, after a marriage and children. I didn't allow it to destroy me as it was supposed to. It made me more fully realize that if I was as worthless as he was trying to have me believe, he wouldn't have needed to go off with someone else. He would have just left...long ago, and wouldn't have needed a safe haven elsewhere in which to seek his own sense of worth. His leaving actually reinstated my full worth and allowed me to continue realizing my potential. 

You're better without him, but don't go jumping into another rebound relationship. Heal your hurt and go on fulfilling your worthy self.

I send you best wishes and hope you can see a way ahead soon. Take care.

[Helpmeheal]

Hi Tyme,

I’m struggling because my brain won’t stop thinking about my ex and his new girlfriend. I feel like I am full to the brim with pain and sometimes it just feels unbearable. My hands are shaky and I feel really dreadful. I might contact the chat. I’m in a house with thin walls, I don’t have much privacy. 

[Helpmeheal]

Hi history lover,

Sounds like you got treated very badly by your cad of an ex. The other woman… I truly can’t understand how any woman could inflict that sort of pain on another woman. But the cheater… I have been through my share of rough times, but I have never felt pain like this. I just hope the pain ends one day. It feels so endless. Yeah, no rebound relationship for me. I can’t even imagine going out on a date. I just feel so crushed, by someone I loved and trusted with my whole heart. It is such a shock. 

[tyme]

Please do have a chat with them. The the drop-in service has webchat too. That might help @Helpmeheal 

Tonight may be difficult for you so I absolutely recognise it's important to have someone to chat to.

Here's the link to the drop-in service where you can connect via web chat

https://www.sane.org/get-support/drop-in-service

I'll wait to see how you go,

tyme

Also, just a handy hint: if you want to type '@' in front of my name, I'll get a notification of your messages so I won't miss anything 🙂

[tyme]

I also want to say @Helpmeheal , that you have been very strong in reaching out. It is not an easy time, and it sounds like you are going through a cycle of grief. We are here to support you, so please don't feel you are alone.

tyme

[Little_Leopard]

Hi there.

Maybe now is the perfect time to start a new hobby or start doing that one thing you have always wanted to do but never had the time. Something that you need to focus on, something new so you not go on auto pilot and start thinking about the ex.

your mind and heart deserve a break and some respite. You deserve peace and happiness. Now is the perfect time to find a passion.

Does that sound like something that could help?