Lived Experience Forum

[toodles]

Hi.

I’m safe. I’m overwhelmed being at home. I want to leave but I don’t know where to go. My life is good, I have a partner (level of support is questionable) and I live in a safe home. What more does anyone want?

I wouldn’t know where to go. 

[hanami]

Hi @toodles 

Are you ok? I'm a bit confused as to what you mean that you are safe but overwhelmed being at home?

Hoping you're ok

Hanami

[toodles]

Hi @hanami 

All my basic needs are met and exceeded. I’m not feeling it. I don’t want to live day by day, do grounding and mindfulness, blame myself for not being normal and have my illness held against me anymore. I’m tired of putting a brave face on and doing everything. I’m tired of having to explain myself. I’m tired of hearing my partner say that he’ll just leave instead of trying to listen to what I say. I’ve started packing my bags but I don’t know where to go. I don’t want people to just put it on my mental illness. I’m a person. I’ve reached out and asked for help as I’ve been taught to do. I’m sick of doing what I’ve been told to do just to make it through another day. I’m sick of waiting for a new day, the sunrise only to find out that it’s not shifting. All is well.

[Kyle1]

@toodles  why you wanna leave then?

[toodles]

@Kyle1 Because I’m dumb 

[Kyle1]

@toodles maybe it's not your residence that you want to leave, but the thoughts you're having ? ...

[hanami]

Hi @toodles 

Sounds tough for you. I hope you can work out what to do soon. Is there anything we can help you with at SANE?

Hanami

[toodles]

It’s ok @hanami @Kyle1  I’ll snap out of it

[Owlunar]

Hi @toodles 

It sounds to me as if you have just had enough pretending you are okay when you are not. And your partner says he will just leave - he's not listening.

And your dissatisfaction is being blamed on your Mental Health. That's not good - we don't have to be mentally ill to be unhappy, unheard and just plain tired of the situation.

You have the right to leave - first - think about where you would go and if you can manage - there are shelters though I have no idea where to find them. 

I wish I could help - I can hear you though - you need a fair deal and that's a fact - how you get it though - to say anything we need to know more - and it's up to you about how much you want to tell.

We all care here - welcome to the forum - and I wish you the best

Owlunar

[toodles]

@Owlunar 

I’ve got nowhere to go and that’s ok. I pushed everyone out of my life, my choice. 

At the best of times I don’t know what are symptoms of mental illness, autism or lgbt identity issues so I don’t expect anyone else to know. I’m still a person. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that the independence I had since I was a kid has served me better than asking for help. I was independent and couldn’t get hurt as easily or left behind. I have a cold heart and that’s ok. Being vulnerable doesn’t serve me. 

I honestly don’t know how I’ll cope. I’ve been with my partner 30 years.