Skip to main content
Forums Home
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Our stories

Re: Wait what did I come into this thread for again? Oh yeah, ADHD!

@AFK that sounds bleak, feeling like an outsider among outsiders -- sorry that the avenues you've tried since diagnosis haven’t given you anything helpful. 

 

Do you like YouTube? I know it's already been mentioned on here, as a place to find information from people with ADHD, but I also like it for the community of people who comment on videos. 

 

Yeah, counselling sessions through Medicare still leave a big gap. 

 

One thing that sounds good but I haven't tried it yet is body doubling -- strange term, but basically means having someone to do a thing with, or just be present while you do a thing, to give you motivation to get started and keep going -- for housework, study, difficult emails/phone calls, etc... 

 

And if having an online buddy works for you, there's a few options, some free, some by subscription. 

 

https://adhdactually.com/sessions

is about $20 a month (set up by an Australian ADHDer, but priced in USD), has a week free trial, which you don't need to remember to cancel! 

 

https://bodydoubling.com/faq

Looks like this is free, I think. 

 

Have you tried body doubling? Did you find it helpful? Are there any groups that you recommend? 

Re: Wait what did I come into this thread for again? Oh yeah, ADHD!

@AFK replying to you 3 months later -- did you get the dishwasher?

Getting a dishwasher was one of the best things ever for me.

I hope yours is going well 

Re: Wait what did I come into this thread for again? Oh yeah, ADHD!

Hey @greenspace ,

 

Yes, it is pretty bleak, but this is where I'm at. I do follow some ADHD-related stuff on YouTube. I get some sense of not being alone, watching the videos and reading the comments... until I try to contribute, myself. I have never known of anyone to be so completely blanked on these forms of social media. Whenever I try it, I see hundreds or even thousands of comments - no matter how old or new, how long or short, how compelling or pointless, they all have some form of interaction with them, a comment or like or something. If I comment, it is singularly ignored in every way, the only one on a crowded page showing no sign anyone even knows I'm there. As far as I can tell, I'm not particularly socially inept or unusually repugnant, but this is consistently my experience in places like that which seem like they may have an inclusive community spirit. As I said, outsider among outsiders. I'm no idiot, but I am at a loss to comprehend why.

 

Medicare is so far behind real pricing. I just can't afford the help I need, or at least nowhere near often enough, and I'm sure there are others far worse off than I.

 

I have some familiarity with body-doubling. I haven't tried any sites or anything online. My partner and I do it for each other, at times. One of us will just be company for the other, or do another job in the same vicinity to just be near. His main role in that is reminding me of what I'm meant to be doing when I start veering off to do something else, and it definitely helps. Also back during the last lockdown, I would sometimes video call with my sister when I was cooking, treat it like I was making a YouTube video - that was fun, and explaining what I was doing to someone who didn't know my process engaged me better and made it more interesting. Of course, if it's more interesting, my mind stays on track much more readily, and the job gets done. So yeah, it's helpful, I recommend it.

 

As for the dishwasher... nope. One disaster after another kept hitting the hip pocket, and by the time we had decided on the dishwasher we wanted and had some money aside, oh look, it's sold out. That was about a month ago, there still aren't any. Going back to the drawing board on researching another one so we don't waste a pile of money on something that's going to break down in a hurry hasn't been a thing because we've spent almost all of our time this year bouncing between the hospital and the vet, so there goes both the money and the mental focus to deal with anything of the sort. Life says no to us having things that let us get on with life. Funny about that.

 

Apologies for such a cynical post, it's been quite a year.

AFK.

Re: Wait what did I come into this thread for again? Oh yeah, ADHD!

Hello @Anonymoose 

Come and meet some awesome friends @AFK , @Jynx , @greenspace , @TuxedoCat , @horsecrazy4eva 

Any questions please ask 

Re: Wait what did I come into this thread for again? Oh yeah, ADHD!

@AFK it's hard not to be cynical when you're going through such a rough time, and as well as the good & bad luck that we have as individuals, there are social issues, like lack of affordable health care, lots of promotion for mental health services like BeyondBlue, RU OK Day, and then when we ask for help like we're told to, there's a waiting list, and/or it costs too much, or we can't find someone who's a good fit for us... 

 

I know that being a carer is tough, but it's great that you can body double with your partner sometimes. And video calling with your sister while cooking is a creative idea. I live alone (with my beloved cats) so I think an online body doubling site might be what I need... 

 

Ugh, being the only commenter who doesn't get a like just sucks ☹️ feels like walking up to a group of people chatting, saying hi, and being ignored -- painful, embarrassing, something I ruminate over forever afterwards... what is wrong with them? What's wrong with me? Bleargh... 

 

Hey, with the dishwasher, I subscribe to Choice magazine online, so if you want I could look up a make or model to see how it's rated (if Choice have tested it). But I know it takes effort to even think which models you want to look at...  

 

Best wishes to you, your partner, and your birds 

Re: Wait what did I come into this thread for again? Oh yeah, ADHD!

Hi @Anonymoose, welcome to this discussion thread. 

 

We come & go, but if you @ people then we'll see that you've added a post 🙂

Re: Wait what did I come into this thread for again? Oh yeah, ADHD!

Hey @greenspace , yeah, that's it. For all the mental health promotion there is amazingly little real support for someone like me. Any support I have had for anything has been related to stuff with my partner, never at all for me. Glad of what I get for him of course, but it's also kinda triggering at the same time that he matters and I don't. Go figure.

 

Yeah, as much as he has his limitations, my partner is amazing and supportive. Body doubling has been very helpful for us both - I can say it's especially good for someone with ADHD but by no means limited to just us, I think having company and motivation is good for anyone. I hope you have some success with the body doubling websites, would love to hear how you go with it.

 

Yup, everything you said rings true. We who aren't neurotypical, I think, face a lot more rejection than most, and it hits just a little bit harder each time. Apparently Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (kind of a disproportionately bad emotional response to perceived rejection) is a thing that attaches itself to people with ADHD a lot, too. Just one of the joyful elements of emotional dysregulation - coupled with real rejection not just perceived, it really sucks.

 

I'm familiar with Choice Magazine, but don't subscribe given money is in short supply. To just get their report on dishwashers rather than subscribing long-term they were asking around $30. Useful, sure, but that's a few meals that we need on the table in the meantime. Too hard basket for now.

 

Thanks. Wish I could say all was well with partner and birds, but it isn't. Long story.

 

Kind thoughts to you.

 

PS Welcome @Anonymoose .

Re: Wait what did I come into this thread for again? Oh yeah, ADHD!

@ArraDreaming 

Come and meet some awesome members @AFK , @Jynx , @greenspace , @horsecrazy4eva , @TuxedoCat 

Re: Wait what did I come into this thread for again? Oh yeah, ADHD!

Thanks @Shaz51 

 

A currently umedicated adult, I was diagnosed when I was a teenager but it was always there. Go through waves in one at the moment. 

Re: Wait what did I come into this thread for again? Oh yeah, ADHD!

Yes 2 of my step sons were diagnosed with adhd when they were younger but now being adults they do not take any medication @ArraDreaming 

My step son 3 goes through waves like you my friend 

It is hard to keep on keeping on at times xxx

I know how you feel and am here for you 

 

Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance