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16-11-2018 10:30 PM
16-11-2018 10:30 PM
Should be happy
I'm 60. Have had a great career. Now single.. With a good job, small but loving family, friends. But i still feel lonely, so unmotivated, want to sleep all day, no will to get up and do anything. My friends have all dropped off . Sick of my depression i guess. I write poetry.. Sad, heartwrencing stuff. I am on medication.. It doesn't help. I'm not suicidal but i do want to die. Can't imagine living alone for the rest of my life. Its just a matter of getting through one day.. To face another.
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17-11-2018 05:40 PM
17-11-2018 05:40 PM
Re: Should be happy
Hello @Luvlibby and welcome to the forum
letting you know you are not alone my friend
I am full of questions my friend , sorry , when did this start , do you know when and why
I don`t mean to be nosy but are you just on anti depressant or anti anxiey meds
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17-11-2018 07:57 PM
17-11-2018 07:57 PM
Re: Should be happy
@Luvlibby It is very exhausting feeling like that day by day isn't it? I know as I feel like that every day as well, and for so many years. You are not alone in your feelings I can assure you of that. I constantly feel mentally drained and just want to sleep (well try to sleep as I am not very good at sleeping) and have no energy or motivation for anything. Even for things that in the past have interested or excited me. As I get older I feel the excitement in me just draining away. And yes I have been on medication which was over a decade ago and it did not make me feel any better, just gave me lots of side effects which were worse than feeling down. Dealing with people and putting on that 'brave' face, making it look like nothing is wrong is exhausting. I have also put my feelings down in poetry, very dark poetry I might add. The only thing that is different with me is that I don't feel lonely. I prefer my own company to anyone else's as I can be myself and not put on that brave face.
Have you recently become single or have you been single for some time? I am asking as if it was a recent thing, then things have changed dramatically in your life and at times change is hard to deal with, and different people react to change in different ways. Sorry I don't have any other real intellectual insight to give, just to say you are not alone and I do hope things turn around for you real soon.
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17-11-2018 08:01 PM
17-11-2018 08:01 PM
Re: Should be happy
hello @Scarecrowe and welcome to the forum my friend
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17-11-2018 09:06 PM
17-11-2018 09:06 PM
Re: Should be happy
feel lonely.. Like i just don't fit in. Funnily i do like time to myself..
Often don't want anyone to ring or txt me. I love the quiet of the night.
But i waste the day sleeping.. Didn't get up till 2.30pm today. No reason
to get up.
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17-11-2018 09:10 PM
17-11-2018 09:10 PM
Re: Should be happy
harder as i get older. It's the lack of motivation and sleeping all the
time is the worst. I still function, go to work, be happy on the
outside. Just have lost my zest for life.
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17-11-2018 09:40 PM
17-11-2018 09:40 PM
Re: Should be happy
we have lots of support here @Luvlibby, @Scarecrowe
@greenpea, @Mazarita, @CheerBear, @Zoe7, @frog, @Teej, @Queenie, @Sans911, @soul, @outlander, @utopia, @eth, @TAB, @Faith-and-Hope, @Time, @Bill16
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17-11-2018 09:47 PM
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17-11-2018 09:58 PM
17-11-2018 09:58 PM
Re: Should be happy
I can totally understand the not feeling like fitting in when people are around you. And I had not really thought about feeling that way until you mentioned it, and I thought yeah I feel like that too!!!! I too love the quiet of the night, it feels like you are the only person on the planet. Some weekends I also just stay in bed, sleep on and off and just watch tv inbetween but just stay in the bed. As you said I feel like what is the point of getting out of bed, no one will know and they don't. I wish I could give you all the answers you seek but sadly I cannot. But all of us are here to give you support and someone to talk to to help get some feelings off your chest and hopefully make you feel a bit better.
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17-11-2018 10:08 PM
17-11-2018 10:08 PM
Re: Should be happy
Thanks for your honesty. I know I'm not the only one. Just feels like i don't have a big enough shovel to dig myself out