12-12-2019 06:19 PM
I can def relate. Great thread topic @-Liz-
Keeping the questioning open is important. Each CPTSD journey would be unique in triggers and factors even if there are some common factors. I have mainly been working at keeping things on an even keel, so that eventually ... I can do things like a trauma map. Yes I researched ACE.
Last year, after conversation with @eth I did a trauma timeline for my childhood. My OT suggested I research and draw up my life and a adult particular trauma year under the Kawa River model but I was not at all supported and became very flooded. So putting that aside for now and going Gently Gently. My current psychologist may be a good person to do EMDR with, but We need to progress further before that is wise. I have only been with her 5 months. However overall I do feelI am getting mostly good support and see hope.
13-12-2019 10:27 AM - edited 13-12-2019 10:28 AM
So glad you are seeing/feeling hope @Appleblossom That can make so much difference in our lives. I'm a firm believer in the importance of having what I call a 'therapeutic relationship' too and it sounds like you have a good one with the therapist you see. Good to hear she is laying foundations with you before starting the EMDR. I think that's important. All the people who I've heard EMDR wasn't good for have been pushed into it early and not laid enough groundwork down or developed a relationship of trust and good rapport with the psychologist first. I'm no expert of course, this is just what I've observed.
13-12-2019 02:28 PM
She is young but seems thorough and logical and on a similar wave length about therapy though very diff childhood.
She offered the EMDR.
She did make a mistake and said I was "fully workshopped" when I was still extremely triggered and probably not totally road safe, but I can never tell when I will get "flooded". I am using that as an indicator. Inever knew what being triggered was when I first joined the forum and Mazzie said I triggered myself. I then got panicky about her expectations of me and sent her a panicked email and then another one in kwik succession ... I did reassure I was getting other support over christmas, but the retraumatisation issue ... is HUGE and needs to be managed well. I did make decisions NOT to go to various paries gatherings etc and stay home and prn and be quiet.
I had been retraumatised by doing an intervention from the OT and going back to the 2 years of all the deaths and 2 of the birth ... and her not getting how triggered I was and tho I have done odd bits of workshopping ... on an extreme budget and mostly ... done the work on my own through my own study, research and journalling processes ... but not FULLY fine or sorted yet ...
So time will tell how she takes that. She has not replied which is not the end of the world ... but we will see ... I need to learn to let others earn my trust ... I know I am too open.
14-12-2019 07:57 AM
Hey @Appleblossom hope today is one of the better ones for you. I'd be asking the psychologist exactly what she meant by 'fully workshopped' and talking about how that expression affected me.
Mine recently said I had '85% processed' a particular event/relationship and I can only wonder how she came up with that figure. This week she told me she's pregnant and will go on maternity leave for 3 - 6 months early next year. She said she'll do a detailed handover report and refer me to someone she knows who is also trauma-informed and doing EMDR and that I shouldn't have to do the time-line process again, but be able to transition to the new person without having to start from scratch - I'm finding it hard to see how that could be, but have no option other than to give it a try. Will be doing my best to make the most of the time I do have left with the current one. She said she'd definitely be coming back, but anything could happen to change that.
14-12-2019 08:25 AM
Maybe after the baby she when things settle, she may become a better fuller therapist and human being, though it is not alwys the deciding factor of what makes people better or therapy ... "work" ....
King Kat settled on my elbow while I type. I have 2 "alternative" Carol sessions today ... one green and one gay.
Boy it makes a difference to be able to verbalise and unpack the "therapy" experience. Thanks Friend. Will see how we go next session.
I have been noting my diary for discussion points, but too much had to be noted and my diary, a foolscap week to view, was not able to hold all the dot points.
My support worker made a couple of suss comments, but basically I think she means well. One was the "whinging" word and the other was cutting me off when I mentioned my siblings. SO I have decided to find active things to do with her and she liked the walk by the beach. She has lived in the area for 17 years and still not made it to our local beach! "Who is helping who" is often a moot point with me.
I wonder what is said at the office, behind the scenes with the OT and the support wkr, but still proceeding in good faith with all. My support wkr had on the form that I suffered from Schizophrenia, which is a mis-hearing (about my parents) as I doubt any shrink would agree to that diagnosis for me. None has said so to my face yet.
@outlander Have not seen you around for a while. Hope you are alright.
14-12-2019 08:58 AM
@Appleblossom Good idea making notes for your therapy sessions. I sometimes do that too, especially if I'm new with someone.
I'd be watching that support worker closely. Not everyone is a good match for us. The whole thing is about you. Your needs, your experiences both past and going forward. You have 'choice and control' and every right to shop around for a different sw. I now have a team of 4 - 2 regular and 2 occasional fortnightly or monthly events. The hireup platform is excellent and really worth checking out if you are plan or self managed. You find sw's on there and can really suss them out before booking them for a job. My recent experience was putting a job on their job board specifying what I was looking for, receiving 23 expressions of interest, checking out all their profiles, speaking with 5 on the phone, doing 4 face to face interviews and ending up hiring just one of them. I had chosen a 2nd one but she mucked me around twice so I dropped her.
Even if you are agency managed you have a right to ask for different sw's. Do you have a coordinator of supports? If so I'd be discussing the sw's comments with them. It's just not ok for them to use the word 'whinging'.
14-12-2019 09:07 AM
Sorry @-Liz- didn't mean to hijack your thread with NDIS stuff.
15-12-2019 02:00 PM
15-12-2019 02:13 PM
Hi @-Liz- I was knocked back initially too ... there's a thread called Anyone started with the NDIS? that cronicles my journey to eventually be accepted 18 months later. There's lots of tips in there from other people too. I am now in my 2nd year of having a funds plan with them and it was totally worth persevering. The process knocked me around a lot at times, but the outcome has changed my life in many ways for the much better. If you want to talk about it any time then that thread might be a good place to do so. Just tag me.
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