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Looking after ourselves

30something
Casual Contributor

withdrew from my TAFE course :(

So back in July when things were starting to feel very hopeless for me in terms of finding employment, i enrolled in a TAFE (Certificate III in Health Administration).  It seemed like a really good idea at the time, except for a number of things. Firstly I went back to full-time soon after, meaning I had less time to spend on my TAFE course. Secondly as it turned out the course had a 'role-playing' component, which is incredibly hard if you are socially awkward and don't know anyone to do the role play bit with! I managed to pass the first unit (had to involve my partner to help me record an audio assessment).  However after viewing the course material for my next two units, I decided to withdraw from it altogether because I would need to find two other people to demonstrate my 'interpersonal' skills..  Being quite shy and anxious, my 'interpersonal skills' are lacking at the best of times and I have no real friends, so where would i find another two other people, let alone convince someone to do this with me!  I feel pretty depressed now as I really did want to do the couse.

3 REPLIES 3

Re: withdrew from my TAFE course :(

Hey @30something 

Firstly, well done on enrolling in the course and making it as far as you did, that's excellent. I can definitely relate to the social anxiety aspect, it's held me back a lot too. I'd encourage you to look at taking part in the course as an achievement, some people--cough, me, cough--don't even make it that far. I think small steps is best for managing social anxiety. You enrolled AND took part in the course. Withdrawing from the course now doesn't take away those achievements and any work you've done will still be credited. Withdrawing from the course now also doesn't mean you can never take it up again. Perhaps now isn't the right time for studying, but perhaps, next year, or in 5 years, it will be the right time. Withdrawing now doesn't mean you can never go back to it.

 

If and when you choose to go back to it--and you don't have to either--I'd advise you to talk to the teacher about how you're struggling with that aspect of the course. They may be able to offer you another way to gain credit, or simply coach you through, that's their job, to help you.

 

I've struggled a lot with anxiety, and it used to hold me back from doing a lot of things. Sometimes, it still does. I've learned though, that despite being an anxious person, I can still do the things I want to do. I don't have to be outgoing or a social butterfly to achieve what I want. I used to think only certain types of people were capable of being in those situations--like your class and doing the roleplay. But I've learned thay I CAN do those things, I just need to accept that it's difficult for me and take time to mentally prepare. I've had to push myself despite feeling pysically sick with nerves for the sake of operating a successful business. And I'd say the one thing that's helped me do it is the realisation that I can be a socially anxious person, and I can do the things I want/need to do. The thing about anxiety is it can actually be controlled, managed, conquered. This is something I never realised. I still have anxiety, and it still rears its ugly head, but once the anxiety-inducing task is complete I feel better for it. It gets a little easier to conquer every time you do it. It's often not pretty in the lead up to an event and it's definitely not pretty after when I'm recovering from the stress, but I can do it, and I hope one day you can too. You don't have to be rid of anxiety to do the things you want. I think it's more about learning to accept our fear is trying to keep us safe, but sometimes it can go too far in protecting us and it gets in the way. Fear is a valuable means to survival, so we don't want to get rid of it, but learn to manage it so we can still take steps forward and achieve what we really want in life.

 

I hope this helps, and I hope you are able to take pride in enrolling in your course and achieving as much as you did.

Re: withdrew from my TAFE course :(

That's so frustrating @30something ! I've done most of my study online and the hardest part for me was definitely trying to do the recordings, not to mention getting someone to help me out! Add to that the anxiety and akwardness of it and it starts to feel a little like a mountain huh? 

In my course, it didn't seem to matter so much who the second person was, only that there was a second person there. Another thing that's happened in my course is some people who live closer together have teamed up to complete the recordings together, so they do it for you and you do it for them. If you're comfortable, perhaps you could also reach out to the TAFE teacher for a little support? 

As for the interpersonal skills unit, I can certainly understand and relate to how anxiety-inducing that would be. For me, an interpersonal skills unit I did in the course of my studies actually helped me a lot in that arena as it helped give me something of a script I could fall back on in situations where I wasn't so sure what to do. 

Re: withdrew from my TAFE course :(

Hey @30something, I'm sorry you're (understandably) feeling down at the moment. I have social anxiety and I completely relate to the depressed state of mind you can get in after you can't manage to do something you really wanted to do because of anxiety.

 

I know it can be hard, but try being as gentle on yourself as possible during this time? Heart

 

@saltandpepper and @TideisTurning have already said some great things - the only thing I can add would be my own story of recovery. My anxiety also seriously interfered with what I wanted to do in life- my education, relationships, work, you name it. After way too long, I finally accessed therapy and medication, and since I've been able to be more in control of my anxiety than it is of me. I'm not sure if you've yet reached out for professional support? If not, it might be helpful. I'm happy to chat about this further if you like Smiley Happy

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